Some Might Say
by Tabitha craft
Summary: Pacey Witter categorically did not believe in love at first sight. It was a completely ridiculous, hollywoodised notion that said more about the workings of the inner human psyche than he cared to admit. But when he walked into his childhood friend, Jack McPhee's, apartment after returning home to Boston, Pacey wondered whether he'd been mistaken.


**Need to know: I read a quote once from Joshua Jackson, about how he was totally stunned by Katie Holmes when he first met her. I can't remember the exact quote, but it basically it said that he was stunned speechless. That gave me the idea for this fiction. **

**The fiction is pretty self explanatory and will be in two parts, the first part longer than the second. The second part is not yet finished. **

**I love reviews. I know people don't really review for Dawsons Creek, but if you can manage it, I would appreciate it!**

**Some Might Say**

Pacey Witter categorically did not believe in love at first sight. It was a completely ridiculous, hollywoodised notion that said more about the workings of the inner human psyche than he cared to admit. But when he walked into his childhood friend, Jack McPhee's, new apartment Pacey wondered whether he'd been mistaken.

Pacey had just moved back to Boston. Five years of medical school and he'd scored a job in Massachusetts General. The added bonuses of a job back home were several. Jack McPhee was one, his best friend growing up and an all round decent guy. Second, he could go see the Red Sox and the Bruins play with relative ease - hell he was going to splurge on a season ticket, for which he wasn't yet sure, and even if he didn't make it to their games he could at least join in the general gaiety and celebration that ensconced the city when the teams did play. Thirdly, Massachusetts General was an awesome hospital and Boston was an awesome city. On the downside his parents were there. His dad was there, and his dad had always been a lousy drunk and a lousy father. He'd pointed out only that morning how much it was putting he and Pacey's mom out to have Pacey staying there whilst he apartment hunted.

So, oblivious to the fate that awaited him Pacey hammered on Jacks door and when his friend pulled it open they immediately embraced in a big bear hug.

"Pace man, it is so good to see you," Jack chuckled and Pacey laughed as well taking the beer Jack pressed into his hand.

"You too Jack - great to be back in the same city at last," he grinned.

"You're telling me," Jack grinned broadly.

"But you gotta help me Jackers," he launched in immediately. "Please tell me you've got somewhere for me to move to?" Jack had been trying to find Pacey somewhere to live since Pacey had made the call to tell him he was coming home.

"Actually I do," Jack flopped onto the couch, Pacey flopping down beside him.

"Tell all!" Jack knew better than anyone why Pacey hated it at home. When Jack had come out in sophomore year Pacey had stood by him and barely battered an eyelash. Jack was Jack, his best friend. Pacey's parents had almost immediately started with the disapproval, the pointed jibs and jokes. It drove Pacey crazy and deteriorated his relationship with his parents further. It only served to strengthen his friendship with Jack. It seemed that the thing his parents were most worried about was that Pacey was gay too, which was frankly a ridiculous concern given that Pacey was either gay or not, irregardless of Jacks sexuality. Ironically, it was Doug, Paceys stoic big brother that Jack managed to yank out of the closet, merely by being irresistible and probably one of the nicest guys Pacey had ever known and of course the fact that Doug was in fact gay to begin with.

"The Adlers across the hall are getting a divorce. They handed notice in on the apartment today but they're pretty keen to vacate ASAP!" Jack grinned.

"What's it like?" Pacey couldn't believe his luck. It would be brilliant to live across the hall from Jack. Close enough but his own space. Doug would be around a lot and the suited Pacey nicely. The affection he lacked toward his parents was more than made up for in the affection he had for his siblings. Of course they hadn't always been close, but the five of them spoke regularly and now Pacey was back in Boston they planned to meet weekly for dinner. Doug was a police officer and whilst he sometimes lacked a sense of humour he was solid and utterly loyal to Pacey. Gretchen was savvy and fun.

"It's a two bed instead of a three like this but the second room is small, so the rent is a lot lower - I'm pretty sure you could manage it alone," Jack shrugged. "You interested?"

"Hell yeah," Pacey grinned.

"Thought you might say that," Jack grinned and leaned over the edge of the couch and grabbed a form off the nearby bookshelf. "I spoke to Mr Leeland the building administrator and you're practically a shoein."

"I owe you Jackers," Pacey grinned.

"You'll owe me even more when you meet Jen," Jack bit his lip and hauled himself out of his seat to grab a bag of chips, tossing them to Pacey.

"So tell me about these girls you live with?" Pacey settled back with his beer. "You met them during your training right?"

"Yeah. I met Jen first. We sort of had to recruit Joey, she's a little shyer but totally funny. Jen and I had hit it off immediately but a week in we were grouped together with Jo to practice taking blood. I don't know what set us off but we couldn't be serious, and trust me, Joey takes her training very, very seriously. But she was the one to crack the joke that made us lose it, all the while she's cool as a cucumber. Jen and I actually got sent out of class! But Joey found us and bought us a beer and from then on we were always together!"

"So why am I gonna want Jen and not Joey?" Pacey asked. "And how come we haven't met before now?"

"You haven't met them before now because you've only come home for holidays and when we've hung out they've been away or working, ok? Now why will you want Jen? Don't get me wrong, they're both totally awesome, different but both gorgeous. I could never pick one as a better friend because they are both brilliant and appeal to different parts of me. Jen is a fiery blond bombshell, totally your type man. Fun but not shallow. She's witty, smart and gorgeous."

"And the other one? The one with the boy name...Joey?" Pacey chuckled. Jen sounded totally his type, but slightly better than that because these days, being as busy as he was, he tended to go for frivolous rather than witty and wise. He was about ready for something a little more but only with the right person, and if Jack thought Jen might be the right person, well Pacey trusted his judgement.

"Joey yeah, short for Josephine but don't ever let her know I told you because she'll like kill me," Jack shot a nervous glance up the corridor to the bedrooms "she's in her room" he mouthed. "Joeys...um..."Jack had lowered his voice and was frowning. "She, well she'll totally call you on your shit but she's not like Jen, not confident in herself, though she should be. She's utterly gorgeous in the tall, brooding way, awesomely clever, funny in a quiet kinda way but well Joey doesn't do guys," Jack tried to explain. Pacey nodded.

"She have a girlfriend?" he asked easily.

"Nah Pace, not like that, doesn't do guys...more she just doesn't date. She's one of the kindest people you could ever meet, but well...it doesn't matter because she's really not your type in the way that Jen is." Again Pacey trusted Jacks judgement. At that moment a key jangled in the lock and the door burst open emitting a small, slight girl with a mass of blond hair.

"Hey Jen," Jack grinned at her as she dropped her bags, flung her keys in a bowl by the door and grabbing Jacks beer sunk into an armchair. Pacey liked her already. "Jen this is my best friend Pacey," Jack introduced.

"Finally we meet," she smiled a him "I feel like I know you... Jacks always, Pacey this, Pacey that."

"Jack and I spent practically our entire time together growing up - all my story's are Jack this, Jack that," Pacey told her easily.

"Are you going to go for the place across the hall?" Jen arched a brow and took another lazy, sexy sip of Jacks beer.

"Yeah, seems perfect, and so near the hospital," Pacey agreed catching a glimpse of Jack out of the corner of his eye. Jack looked inordinately pleased.

"I know, we were so lucky to get this place," Jen agreed as a door down the hall opened. "Joey found it...she was visiting an ex patient at home and they were moving. As we were looking - it was like kismet."

It was kismet in many ways that Jen murmured the word kismet as Joey appeared in the entrance to the lounge area. She was wearing sweats and a hoody. Her dark brown hair was pulled up into a rough ponytail and she had a half smile on her face. Paceys heart immediately began to pound in his chest, it pounded so hard he thought he may be having an early heart attack and being a doctor he aught to know. He was suddenly so hot he thought he might faint and by fuck, he was rock hard. Totally embarrassing, totally unexpected and what on earth was he supposed to do about it?

"You started beers and nobody called me, huh?" she teased with an adorable lopsided smile and shining eyes. "Hi," she smiled at him and his body melted into a puddle. He was no longer a man, just a mushy puddle on Jacks couch.

"hmmm" he barely managed in return. She gave him a quizzical look with a quirk of her brow that did nothing to stem the rapid rhythm of his heart and then headed for the fridge calling over her shoulder,

"Anyone need another?"

"Me, Jen stole mine, and grab Pacey one - he seems to be..._disintegrating_ on the couch," Jack smirked in amusement at Jen as they both watched Pacey watch Joey. "Dont think your gonna get that date," Jack teased Jen under his breath.

"Clearly," she chuckled back, but Pacey was immune to their gossip as he watched Joey.

No, Pacey did not believe in love at first sight, but he didn't know what the hell was happening to him because this, this was _something_. He'd desired women before. A lot of women but he'd never felt this instantaneous want before, not just for them physically but for all of them. He felt, as ridiculous as it sounded, utterly confident in the fact that should he be given the opportunity he could make Joey happy, that he could spend his whole like making her happy and that would make him happy. That she would make him happier than anyone else could.

"So who's your friend?" she asked Jack, apparently as unperturbed by his presence as he was perturbed by hers. She rested herself on the arm of Jens chair.

"This is Pacey, Pacey, this is Joey." Jack introduced watching his best friend with amusement. "And I guess I was totally wrong," he alluded to their conversation a little earlier.

"I've heard a lot about you," she gave him a tentative grin.

"hmmmm," he attempted back but he still couldn't seem to get his shit together. One look at her and he was a complete mess.

"ok..." she frowned. "Jen are you still up for heading out tonight? I thought we could walk to _Cafe Vanille _- I totally owe you dessert after you helped me collect that box of books," Joey ruffled Jens blond curls affectionately and Pacey realised he was in big trouble.

"Cake," he croaked. "I'd, um, yeah, some," he attempted and Jack and Jen practically peed themselves laughing. Joey looked confused and slightly unsettled. Like they might be laughing at her. Jen seemed to realise and launched herself out of the chair and grabbed Joeys hand.

"Yeah let's go," she agreed flinging her empty bottle into the recycling.

"Do you guys want to come?" Joey asked with slightly narrowed eyes.

"S'alright," Jack shrugged as Pacey nodded not really capable of a verbal response.

"Is that a yes or a no," she chuckled looking from one to the other.

"Yeah, um, I owe Jack...the place across the hall," Pacey whacked Jack on the arm rather pointedly.

"Um yeah...and I definitely want cake rather than a nice beer out," Jack rolled his eyes.

* * *

"Get a grip man," Jack told Pacey under his breath as they walked behind the girls in the direction of _Cafe Vanille_. Joey had changed into a pair of boot cut, form fitting jeans and Pacey was hypnotized by the movement of her ass as she walked with Jen.

"I don't know what the hell is wrong with me...she's...god..." Pacey attempted to explain.

"You love her," Jack teased.

"I don't even know her," Pacey looked slightly wild.

"She'll drive you crazy," Jack told him. And she did. She immediately began to drive Pacey crazy in a multitude of ways. She was sweet, she was funny, she was kind, she was clever, she was witty and she was also evasive, difficult, argumentative. They argued at _Cafe Vanille_. He was trying to be nice and pay, she got haughty taughty about it, acted like she thought he was looking down on them. Man, she had a chip on her shoulders. Not that he'd know where it came from because she'd always avoid answering questions, cleverly diverting conversation back to whomever she was talking to.

Walking back from _Cafe Vanille_ Jack and Jen loitered behind whilst Pacey and Joey walked in silence. Minor tussle over the bill aside she was every bit as intriguing as he thought she would be.

"So where did you grow up?" he smiled. He couldn't seem to stop smiling.

"Down the coast a little, you?" she bit her lip. "Stupid question, you grew up here with Jack. I'm tired," she explained.

"How come?"

"Long shift yesterday, lots of stuff to get done on my day off...you know, laundry, cleaning, shopping..."

"Oh I have someone come in and do all that," Pacey told her lazily.

"Really?" she gawped at him and he chuckled,

"No not really, only in my dreams. Life would be so much nicer without grocery shopping and cleaning," he fantasised.

"And cooking, god I hate cooking," she smiled at him. He would do anything for those smiles.

"Now there we'll have to disagree. I love to cook..."

"Really?" she interrupted looking impressed. Pacey was secretly pleased as punch at the expression on her face.

"Yeah, it takes the stresses of the day from me. I kind of put all those loose threads, bits of stress away with each vegetable I chop...I don't know, does that make any sense?"

"Total sense," she nodded. "I write poetry," she told him and he practically jerked in surprise, that was totally not what he wanted to hear. There was nothing wrong with writing poetry per say, but the way she said it...well it sounded a little pretentious. Before he could say anything further she elaborated, laughing at the expression on his face, "don't misunderstand. It is terrible, terrible poetry, if you can even call it that. It's more like witty ditty's to vent my stress. They're probably only funny to me, but it's how I work out the left over and running," she wrinkled her nose and Pacey burst out laughing. She wasn't pretentious at all and she ran.

"I do the running too," he nodded.

"So what's your favourite meal to cook?" she asked turning her head to look a him.

"This is going to sound weird but I cook vegetarian. It's crazy because I love meat, but I cook vegetarian. Risotto is my favourite - to eat and cook."

"I love risotto," she gushed.

"Well when I move in I'll cook you dinner," there was no mistaking that it would be a date.

"We can eat risotto together but not as a date," she narrowed her eyes a him.

"Well then, when I move in to my new place we'll eat risotto together," Pacey decided to heed Jacks warning- if the girl didn't date he'd have to work out how to date without dating. "and I'd love to read your witty ditty's!"

"Oh, no one reads those," she laughed out loud, "I'd never hear the end of it."

"And why would that be?"

"Every fantasy I have is in those things..."

"Fantasy?" Paceys voice was lower, huskier but she just rolled her eyes,

"Who I'd happily slap, that kind of fantasy. Occasionally the other type too, but mostly of the venting variety!"

"How disappointing," Pacey teased with a frown and she whacked him on the shoulder with a chuckle.

"I bet your ditty's would be a sordid little read, huh?" she teased back.

"Oh definitively, more than you could handle I'm sure," he grinned.

"I'm sure," she chuckled and an easy silence fell.

"So what area of the hospital are you based in?" he asked her wondering how lucky he might get.

"I'm a paediatric nurse in the emergency department," she told him. 'Score,' Pacey couldn't help think to himself.

"We'll be working together then. I'll be starting in paediatric emergency next week."

"That's great," she was so genuinely pleased.

"Yeah, I've been wanting to move into the field since I completed my training."

"The team is really great...well Dr Valentine can be really annoying...shit I shouldn't have said that," she covered her mouth with her hands.

"Your secret is safe..." he flirted.

"To be honest, I can be a little annoying too," she shrugged in an easy going manner, "I have very strong opinions."

"But he's the doctor?"

"Yeah," she answered vaguely.

* * *

'I am so, so tired,' Joey flopped onto the couch and smiled at Pacey who was sat in the armchair across from her. Jen and Jack were rummaging in the kitchen.

'It would not be an exaggeration to say that I have never met anyone who works as hard as you,' Pacey tried to sound relaxed but his heart was pounding just being in the same room as her. The entire day had been spent as if he'd had an extra shot of adrenalin, the boom of his heart sounding in his ears and that was just at the prospect of seeing her and having to interact with her. Oh he'd been professional, but man it was torture to tear his eyes from her, it was near impossible not to become a gibbering wreck in her presence. And now they were back at her place, and she was in jeans and a hoody and boy did he wish he'd chosen to sit on the couch. He would not be making _that_ mistake again.

'Please,' she rolled her eyes and he practically died at the gesture, 'I don't work harder than anyone else in that hospital.' She shrugged easily.

'You do, and everyone knows it.'

'Says you at the end if your first day!'

'I'm observant - you didn't even stop for lunch,' he would know, he'd been looking.

'That's because I never stop for lunch.'

'Like I said, you work harder than anyone,' Pacey smiled at her in what he hoped was an engaging manner.

"So how was the first day? What do you make of the hospital?" she leaned toward him, her eyes bright.

"Well there was this really gorgeous nurse," he teased and she rolled her eyes again, god but that one gesture was going to drive him literally crazy. "I'm not lying. I asked her out to dinner but she said no, and I know for a fact she was free!"

"If you're going to be annoying I won't ask again," she gave him a death glare but he knew she was kidding.

"Fine, fine. I love the department. It was great to be working where I really want to. The staff are great, you particularly, and not because I think you're gorgeous," he hated himself, officially, but he just couldn't seem to turn off his compliment diarrhea. "You are a truly excellent nurse and that helps me hugely, especially on my first day." This was no exaggeration and Joey knew it and thus seemed to accept the compliment. "It's only a shame Jen and Jack are in a different department," he shrugged.

"That would make Jen and Dr Valentines affair a little less than clandestine," Joey joked loud enough for Jen to hear,

'Ha, ha... it's hardly a secret Jo," she and Jack returned from the kitchen with beers and plates ready for the sushi take out they'd ordered.

"You and Drue?" Pacey stared at Jen with an open mouth, an expression that was dwarfed by Jacks shock.

"What the hell did I miss?" He stared at the blond in utter confusion.

"You knew," Jen swatted him on the back in a dismissive way.

"But you knew I was match making you and Pacey," Jack stuttered.

"Well yeah, I've seen pictures and it's not like Drue and I are more than casual."

"Yet," Joey put in.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Jack was just about choking on his beer.

"Because I figured you knew. It took Joey five minutes to work it out."

"Well now I feel dumb," Jack frowned.

"Not dumb," Jen hugged Jack.

"To be fair it only really picked up this week," Joey reassured.

"It's a moot point anyway considering Pacey isn't interested in me."

"He was," Jack defended.

"For thirty seconds," Jen laughed and looked pointedly at Joey.

"Leave me out of this," she grumbled.

"And me," Pacey agreed. He desperately wanted to talk to Joey but felt suddenly awkward with Jen and Jack right there.

"So Pacey have you heard about the place across the hall?" Joey flicked her eyes to gesture in the general direction of the front door.

"Um, yeah the guy, Mr Leeland, he said I got it and can move in two weeks today."

"Ha," Jack interrupted.

"Ha?" Pacey smirked at him.

"I'm out of town and so is your brother."

"Ha to you, I hardly have any stuff."

"You will when your mom clears out the basement," Jack kicked at Pacey's foot and Pacey kicked back.

"I just can't wait to be out of that house. I mean I love them, sort of, but there is a reason we leave home."

"Why don't you stay with one of your sisters? Doug said you guys have sisters?" Joey frowned. "Or Doug for that matter?"

"Gretchen, the logical choice, well she's got a studio. I don't think I could handle Gretchen in that small amount of space. Carrie has got three kids running round. She'd have me, but I need sleep and her youngest gets night terrors."

"And the last one?" Jen smiled at him.

"Anna. I could stay with Anna I guess, but the commute to work would be nearly an hour. I can't do an hour on either end of the day."

"Why don't you stay here?" Jack asked and looked to Jen and Joey who nodded. "You could sleep on the couch."

"Now that's fine, but why don't you stay at Doug's? I mean he's here half the time anyway?" Joey frowned and he reminded himself to focus on the conversation.

"Oh Dougy never let's me stay. Not after my extended stay in high school. Too much teasing about being in the closet. Never mind the fact that he was in fact in the closet, the guy holds a grudge and has never forgiven me for messing with the diva cd collection."

"A crime I'm sure," Joey caught his eye and grinned. He grinned back.

"Of the highest order," he concurred.

"Seriously, stay here," Jack stated and the girls nodded.

"I'll go home and fetch a bag right now I'm that on board with that suggestion," Pacey made to stand.

"Wait for dinner," Jack suggested but Pacey shook his head.

"I really would rather get my stuff and not have to stay there tonight?"

"You need a hand?" Joey asked before Jack could. Jack immediately shut his mouth knowing Pacey would rather Joey than him. Pacey gaped like a fish for a second or two. The idea of having Joey to himself versus the idea that Joey might meet his parents. It was a no brainer no matter how his parents made him feel,

"That would be great," he gave her what he hoped was a dazzling smile. His expression was one of total adoration, not that he knew it. Joey jumped off the couch and headed to the door.

"Let's go then otherwise these two will eat all the sushi," she looked at him and he shook himself a little and followed her. He couldn't be sure but he thought he heard Jack and Jen laughing as the door closed behind him.

* * *

"Ok I love this van," Joey told him as she sank into his second hand and extremely old VW camper. "I've always wanted to have one of these. I have this fantasy of converting one and travelling across to the west coast, maybe even up north to Canada. I'd have to get a dog though," she grinned and looked into the back.

"I have the same fantasy," Pacey could scarcely contain his glee at how utterly perfect they were for one another, "as you can see the conversion is only part done. There's not a lot of cash going spare when you're in medical training."

"I guess not," Joey smirked as she fingered the new but exceedingly retro curtains.

"My sister Anna made those. Gretchen and Doug chose the fabric and she made them up. She's all kinds of crafty and good with stuff like that," Pacey smiled.

"I have to say I love them. I love everything about this van. Does it run well?" she arched a brow.

"Like a dream. A mate of Doug's fixed it up for me, mates rates."

"So when are you planning this big trip?" she crossed her legs on the seat like a kid.

"I guess my aim is thirty."

"Thirty?" she seemed amused.

"I don't plan on taking this trip alone. I'm hoping I may have a girlfriend and we'd go together, you know before kids and all that. But I need to work a few years, to warrant the time I want off."

"How long do you want off?" she chuckled.

"I'm thinking a year. In fact it would be my honeymoon! Can you imagine? We could pull up at a beach, swim, watch the sun rise, all that," his eyes flashed with enthusiasm.

"We?" she was teasing, he knew she was teasing, but for a split second he put Joey into that fantasy and the result was more than perfect.

"Well now that would be fine by me, but I imagine you who doesn't date might find the jump to honeymoon a little much," he decided to tease back.

"Ha ha," she laughed, "though if that's the honeymoon you want I might be tempted to marry you!"

"Anytime missy,"

"Jack was right - you're a riot," she rolled her eyes.

"And you're a sweetie pie," he spoke with heavy sarcasm though he thought it was true.

"Yeah like sugar," she was equally sarcastic.

"Don't worry, the reputation of your acerbic temper precedes you," he looked at her briefly and she smiled,

"As it should," she nodded as they pulled up in front of his parents modest detached home. "This it?"

"Where I grew up," he nodded as they exited his van and headed up the front porch pushing open the unlocked door. The house was old, the wallpaper peeling a little. Pacey hated the old, worn furniture for the nostalgia it wrought.

"I hope you didn't park your damn van out front," his fathers voice came from the usual chair.

"Only for a few minutes pop. I'm moving in with Jack."

"That damn kid is gonna take both my sons," his father muttered, a telltale slur to his voice.

"Doug went willingly dad and Jacks my best friend, always has been," Pacey felt exhausted already.

"Don't speak back to me," his father growled.

"Dad...this is a friend of mine, Joey," he gestured to Joey but his dad didn't look away from the tv for a long moment, then hesitantly looked to Joey. "Whatcha doing with this boy?" he asked appraising Joey's pretty face.

"Well sir, we work together."

"At the disease hub," Pacey's dad looked back to the tv.

"I prefer to think of it as a health hub. After all it's where we help people get better."

"Do you now?" Pacey watched as his father looked back at Joey.

"I do. Everyone in that building works really hard to help and heal people, calling it a disease hub doesn't really do it justice. There's all the elderly people, the people with broken limbs, those that need cosmetic surgery, children who have had accidents, people having babies and yes, those with diseases. Maybe an illhealth hub, but more than just diseases!"

Pacey watched his father bark out a laugh and turn back to the tv,

"You can keep this one around. I like her," he dismissed them with a wave of his hand. They headed through to the kitchen where his mom was sat with a book.

"Oh Pacey. I hope you didn't park out the front, did you?" she asked with a weary sigh.

"I did mom..."

"Oh Pacey," she interrupted, "you know how your father hates that van."

"Mom, I'm going to go stay with Jack. It's nearer the hospital and they have space," he lied. "Joey's here to help."

"Hi," his mom gave Joey a dismissive glance, "well don't take long," she looked back at her book. Pacey rolled his eyes and nodded in the direction of the stairs.

"Now don't laugh. This was my room when I was eighteen. Aside from the odd college vacation I haven't been here since then!"

"I'll try not to hold what I see against you," she smirked as they entered the painfully small room, with its small single bed, cluttered walls and shelves full of books. "You liked to read huh?" she crouched down in front of the book case pursuing the titles. "Kurt Vonnegut fan by any chance?"

"The biggest," he smiled. "You read them?"

"No, should I?" she smiled at him over her shoulder.

"Start with _Slaughterhouse Five_," he instructed plucking the book from the shelf and handing it to her.

"Thanks, but I'm only reading it if I get to use this," she held up an old photo of him wearing a Bruins jersey and holding a hockey stick, "as the bookmark."

He took the picture and looked at his fifteen year old self.

"Jack took that. We went to a game for his birthday, about a month or so before he came out. His dad took us, it was just about the last thing they did together before his dad freaked out. Somehow he managed to get us back to meet a couple of the players. Best day."

"You look adorable," Joey smiled as she tucked the photo inside the book. "I promise to guard the picture with my life," she held the book to her heart and he took a step towards her, making them a little closer than friends would normally be.

"You're adorable," he whispered the words, one if his hands moving to rest on her hip. For a moment they stared at one another but then Joey smiled,

"Pacey, you're going to have to stop all that before it gets uncomfortable."

"Go out to dinner with me and it won't be uncomfortable," he smiled at her charmingly and she squeezed his cheek,

"You might be cute but I'm not interested in dating."

"Fine. Then help me pack," he reached behind her and grabbed a bag from his closet and she laughed. It seemed slightly unfair to him that she could be so damn perfect for him. Hell, they could even banter about wanting to date and not wanting to date.

"What am I packing here?" she took the bag.

"I'll do the big move in two weeks, but there's a pile of notes and stuff on my desk, and I need a couple of ties for some meetings. I guess I better take all the stuff in the top desk drawer. I'll do clothes."

"Deal, but let's be quick. You've never seen Jen eat sushi!"

* * *

Pacey had to hand it to Jack - the guy had the worlds comfiest couch. It was long enough to fit his 6"3 frame, wide enough for him to turn on and the cushions were just the right mix of firm and yet comfortable. Unfortunately, despite the comfortable bed he had, he was not falling asleep and yet he couldn't really fathom why. Sure his head was full of the girl he'd met only two days earlier. He hated and loved in equal measure his entirely irrational response to her. He was borderline pathetic in his utter, incomprehensible response to her. She was attractive, well beautiful if he was honest, and gorgeous and he wanted her. Man, did he want her. But it was more than that. She was funny and sweet and she worked hard, and yes she was feisty. He could immediately see she was insecure, but was unclear about what. He just wanted to magic that all away. Inside was a burning need to make her his and to be hers. It was crazy and totally on the off with his romantic views up until that moment he first laid eyes on her. He was bat shit crazy for her. He sat up and rubbed his eyes and headed to the kitchen for some water wearing just his pj pants and a wife beater.

"Hey," Joey was sat at the table with his battered copy of _Slaughterhouse Five _and a glass of water.

"I thought everyone went to bed," Pacey yawned and took in her pj pants, and obligatory hoody. She looked scrumptious.

"I tend to go to bed a little later. It takes me a while to fall asleep so I often vacate the bed, read elsewhere and try again," she smiled at him. "Couch not comfy?"

"The couch is awesome," he said honestly. "I just can't seem to fall asleep."

"Try my trick and chat to me for a bit," she pushed out the chair next to her with her foot.

"You enjoying the book?" he arched a brow as he sat down next to her.

"Yeah...it's good. I'll borrow the others when you're all moved in," she gave him a cheeky little smile.

"I have a ton of books."

"You haven't seen my room," she popped her photo bookmark in.

"You like to read?"

"I nearly majored in English, but decided on nursing as the more practical option."

"You don't see English as practical?"

"Not unless I wanted to be a teacher, professor or god forbid end up in editing," she rolled her eyes and Pacey restrained himself from touching her.

"I'm sure English leads to other jobs," he chuckled.

"None I wanted to do as much as nursing."

"Fair enough."

"I do dream of writing a book one day. I'm pretty sure it's a cliché and everyone feels this way, but I'm sure I have a novel in me somewhere!"

"Totally cliché," Pacey teased.

"Watch it," she grumbled swatting his arm.

"You want to go for a run tomorrow morning? I noticed we're both on at 8, so we could run at 6.30?"

"Oh I'm gonna like having you live here," Joey smiled, "Doug warned me not to run alone in the dark and I like Doug so I listened, but if we run together..."

"It's ok!" Pacey grinned.

"Yep. I've tried and tried to get Jen and Jack into running but they just aren't into it. Doug sometimes runs with me when he stays over."

"All Witter's took up running in their teens - I think you may understand why after meeting the folks!"

"They're full of love and affection huh?" she spoke with a soft sarcasm.

"They were once," Pacey thought back to his childhood, "but they seemed to hold us to these unrealistic expectations and we all just kept letting them down. I was a screwup. I know I'm a doctor now but I was nearly failing sophomore year."

"But surely they're proud of you now? I mean doesn't every parent dream of having a doctor in the family?"

"Not the Sheriff! He wanted the boys to be police men and ideally sheriffs of course. Doug pleased him mightily by following in his footsteps, then Doug came out. I wouldn't call dad an out and out homophobe, he campaigned for gay rights, but Doug and Jack and all that was a little to close to home I guess."

"What about your sisters?"

"For Gretchen it was a pregnancy and abortion in college - apparently mom and dad aren't exactly pro-choice, Carrie got the divorce and Anna, well Anna moved in with her boyfriend at 16 and never really came back home. They were ok until we began to challenge them and broke out of the moulds they'd made for us. It doesn't help that dads a drunk."

"That never helps."

"And mom...she just seems defeated. Tired all the time. I've talked to her about depression but she still sees me as the screw up," he shrugged.

"At least you guys are all close," Joey smiled.

"We weren't always, but yeah, we are now." They sat in silence for a few moments.

"I'm going to head to bed, but thanks for the chat," she stood up and surprised him by ruffling his hair on her way past him to the door. His stomach swooped up to his head and down to his toes before settling uneasily back where it was supposed to be. With a sigh he headed back to the couch.

* * *

After that night, chatting to Joey in the kitchen at midnight became a regular thing. Aside from a couple of night shifts Pacey would find that he just couldn't fall asleep until he'd checked the kitchen. Inevitably Joey would be there.

"Hey," she kicked out his chair for him a week to the day that he moved in. It had been a whirlwind of a week. He'd sweet talked the shift supervisor and now he and Joey shared nearly every shift. Pacey knew they worked well together and that everyone had noticed how well they worked together and so there was no real problem. He loved working at the hospital almost as much as he was enjoying getting to know Joey. Not loving Joey, getting to know her, he reiterated to himself several million times a day. You can't love someone you don't know. She was fun to work with. Incredibly opinionated and utterly brilliant. She hadn't hesitated to second guess him on an occasion the previous day and she was right. She'd handled it with complete professionalism, took him to one side and disagreed. He'd been less grown up about it, but she'd insisted and she was right. She was everything he could want in a nurse.

It hadn't taken long for the hospital rumour mill to kick start into action and several staff would watch their interactions with interest, especially because they worked so seamlessly together. But their interactions were the problem. She was funny, and she was intriguing. She was always interested in what he had to say and was always easy going and affectionate. But that was it - she clearly wanted to be just friends. Jack told him that gossip had the two of them dating, or at least sleeping together. Pacey was disappointed that neither was true although he was relieved that she seemed as interested in a friendship as he was in a relationship. He could tell she enjoyed his company and he could even tell she thought he was attractive, but it ended there. Friendship and a little flirting.

"How you doing?"

"I finished _Slaughterhouse Five_..."

"And?" Pacey leaned forward as they began a lengthy analysis of the book. Slipping into his bed later that night he knew in his bones that she was the girl for him. That he would marry her and have children with her in a heartbeat because they would make each other happy. It just seemed almost laughable that she didn't feel the same way.

* * *

"So every night you just come and sit at the table and read for a couple of hours?" Pacey asked upon finding Joey on the ninth consecutive night. She gave him a frown,

"Actually I normally read in the lounge on our nice comfy couch," she bit her lower lip and Pacey barely managed to not groan out loud.

"We can sit through there. You should have said something before now."

"But you might have been sleeping," she shrugged and picked up her book standing up and walking through to the lounge with him.

"Clearly I'm an insomniac like you."

"Nah, you just like our midnight chats. I catch you yawning at work."

"Ok, you got me there," Pacey watched her slide into his cocoon of a bed, sitting up with her thighs against his pillow and pat the space beside her. Leaving an appropriate amount of room he sat down next to her. "Cold?" He asked and when she nodded he pulled his duvet across them like a blanket.

"Now this is how I normally spend my nocturnal hours of wakefulness, though I'm normally alone."

"This couch is extremely comfortable."

"I know. More often than not this is where I eventually fall asleep."

"You seen a doctor about the insomnia?" he was hesitant in asking this, Joey was extremely closed off with personal information.

"Loads of doctors and nothing helps. I refuse to take sleeping tablets. I figure one day I'll just go to bed and sleep. Until then..."

"At least you have company," he grinned at her, loving the cozy intimacy of the couch.

"Yeah, I'm falling asleep a lot quicker with the chats than just reading," she snuggled down and he watched her lids shut for a second. His heart pounded at the idea of her sleeping where he slept. "But you move on the weekend," she yawned.

"Across the hall," he smiled.

"Hmmm," she murmured her eyes shutting again. He watched her eyes close and not open, her breathing deepen and her head fall sideways onto his pillow. He let out a soft moan and reaching a hand across ran a finger over her cheek before sitting back and watching her for a little while longer, his heart almost painful with it's furious beating. He cursed inwardly at the feeling of three little words dying to break free from him and in an effort not to let them loose he stretched out her legs and dropped his head to the opposite end of the couch, sleeping like he and Jack had as kids, their legs tangled together.

* * *

Pacey awoke with a jolt of adrenaline as he remembered falling asleep the previous night, and the feel of legs entwined with his. He bashed at the arm shaking him awake.

"What?" he hissed at his best friend.

"You're going to be late. You start an hour before Jo," Jack whispered back, an amused grin plastered onto his face. "I have coffee in the kitchen."

Pacey unwillingly untangled himself from Joey making every effort not to wake her before stumbling sleepily into the kitchen where Jack handed him a cup of coffee.

"So you and Joey are sharing a bed now, huh?" Jack gave him a broad grin.

"We were talking and fell asleep," Pacey was defensive.

"Another midnight chat?" Jack arched a brow and Pacey looked surprised,

"She told you?" his voice had a slight squeak to it.

"Um yeah, Joey is one of my best friends. She told Jen and I when you were at dinner with the sibs. She likes you Pacey."

"Likes me how?" Pacey needed clarification.

"As a friend. I've known Joey for five years now and Jen and I are her only friends. The fact that she likes you is a big deal. But she really doesn't date Pace. I know you like her..."

"Like her?" Pacey gave a wry laugh of derision, "I wish I only liked her."

"You're saying you love her?" Jack frowned. He'd known Pacey his whole life and that was totally out of character.

"I feel like I've lost it Jack. I know I don't know her and yet it feels like I do. I need to get to know her but it's like I have this inner knowledge that she and I are right for each other. It's crazy, it's ridiculous, but that's how it is. I mean I think she's gorgeous that's painfully obvious but I don't just want to fuck her, I want her to want me."

"Wow," Jack put the spoonful of cereal that had paused midair into his mouth and crunched with a thoughtful expression on his face. "I think she thinks your attractive," he said at length, "and I know she loves hanging out with you..." he paused for a long time.

"And?"

"No and, just a but. She's not interested Pace. We've talked about it and she said she wouldn't want to date you."

"Oh," his face fell, he could feel it literally fall.

"What she said was she doesn't want to date anyone."

"Why the hell doesn't she date?"

"She's never said. We've asked but you must have noticed Jo doesn't like to share?"

"I guess. I mean she does but nothing really substantial."

"Exactly," Jack shrugged. "Just remember Pace, she likes you. If anyone can change this weird no dating policy of hers it would be you, I'm sure. Now go shower, we have to leave in twenty minutes."

* * *

The next night Pacey was just about to head to the kitchen when Joey poked her head into the lounge.

"Hey," she smiled and he smiled back. Work had been fun - lots of banter and lots of successes with patients. There had been nothing too depressing. The banter attracted the attention of other staff but he couldn't seem to stop and neither could she. They both seemed to crave the last word, the one upping of each other.

"You want to chat?" he asked and at her nod he opened up the covers so she could sit in the same spot as the night before.

"Today was fun," she said simply before yawning.

"Today was really fun," he smiled as she shuffled further into the couch.

"You and Jack have a fun evening?"

"Yeah, what about you and Jen?"

"Jen and I always have fun," she allowed her eyes to drift closed.

"You tired?" she seemed about ready to go to sleep but he didn't want to jinx an improvement to her insomnia.

"Hmmm," she hadn't yet opened her eyes but she was still awake. "You?"

"Exhausted," he allowed his eyes to drop closed for a moment. Opening them he realized that more than a moment had passed. Joey had dropped her head onto his pillow and was sleeping soundly. His traitorous hand was on her ass. His neck ached. Reluctantly he moved his hand and flopped his head down to the other end of the couch, falling immediately back to sleep.

* * *

The eleventh night at Jacks was the night Pacey had planned on catching up on his sleep. Joey was working a night shift and so he didn't need to force himself to stay awake just to be up when she wondered in. He'd gone out with Jen for a drink and that had been a lot of fun. She was full of astute appraisal and full of enthusiasm for him winning over Joey. They'd had a laugh. With the following day off he should have been able to sleep, but he must have dropped off only a few hours before Joey quietly entered the apartment after her night shift. Bleary eyed Pacey pushed himself into sitting as she moved about the kitchen. Her head poked into the room and she saw him sat on the couch,

"Hey," she seemed genuinely pleased to see him. "You sleep well?" she padded across the floor with a couple of mugs of coffee and slipped into her usual spot.

"Terribly," he admitted. "I missed our chat...and my new teddy bear," he was teasing but she just gave him a sheepish look and an easy shrug.

"I'm here now," she nudged his shoulder with hers.

"But we're drinking coffee and I have to go pack," he made a face.

"How about I sleep for a couple of hours and come help you? I'm on the night shift again so I really aught to sleep a little. Normally I just have a couple of hours."

"You're crazy," Pacey said with lots of affection and smiled as he put his coffee back on the coffee table. After taking a look at Joey he reached for hers. He watched as her eyes dropped shut and a wash of feeling and emotion swam through him. It took him several moments to recognize the feeling as contentment. Not entirely strange as he'd never felt that way before. Tangling his legs with hers he dropped to the other end of the couch and fell asleep.

* * *

"You really don't need to help me," Pacey stated for the second time. Joey merely fixed him with a steely glare and continued to put books in a box.

"As I've already said, with Doug and Jack visiting Andie in New York and Jen working, if I don't help you, who will?"

"I could have persuaded Anna, or even Gretchen," he revealed but she just laughed.

"Yeah," she said and he wondered why she was laughing.

"At least the folks are both out," he stated but she was staring at an old photo. He leant over her shoulder and laughed, "that's Christmas about oooh, seventeen years ago."

"You all look miserable," she sighed and continued to stare at the photo.

"We were. Mom and dad didn't get us a thing we wanted, which is ok, but it hurts when you're a kid all the same. Then dad got drunk, the dinner was torture and then mom had us pose for this obligatory family photo. Anna," he pointed to a willowy brunette, "she was in trouble for sneaking off to to see her boyfriend, Doug, he was trying to appease dad which made the rest of us mad at him. Carrie," he pointed to one of the redheads, "she couldn't get over receiving socks and undies for Christmas and Gretchen," he pointed to the wavy redhead, "she was mad at dad for being mad at me about something or other."

"And yet you keep the picture," she smiled at him.

"I love my brother and sisters," he said simply, "we were unified in our parental contempt!" He winked at her and she laughed.

"So, can I use eight year old Pacey Witter and his siblings as a bookmark in..." she crawled to his other bookcase.

"_Cats Cradle,_" Pacey pulled the book out and handed it to her, "and yes you can."

"Good," she looked at the picture again, her eyes flitting across each of the five faces and dwelling on his.

"You like my photos," he appraised. He'd seen her stand for a full ten minutes in front of his wall of horror and spend a further thirty minutes looking through a small flip album she'd found amongst his medical books.

"I love your photos," she answered honestly, surprising him. "I am always interested in looking at photos and yours are particularly good. You were such a cute little kid," she smiled at him with genuine affection.

"Thanks," he said uncertainly watching as she tucked his old photo into his copy of _Cats Cradle_ and pop them in her bag.

"So I've noticed you have no furniture unless you're planning on taking that old bed, if you even fit it," she smirked.

"I don't fit it, haven't since I was sixteen. No I won't be taking it, mom and dad would kill me. I'm taking the van and going to ikea on Sunday."

"I love ikea," Joey murmured as she moved on to a second box of books.

"All girls seem to love ikea."

"Sexist. I know plenty of guys that like Ikea. Though maybe more girls seem to like it than guys because we often care more about our surroundings," she looked pointedly around his room.

"I asked you not to judge," he looked wounded but she just rolled her eyes. "Fine, at eighteen I couldn't care less. Now I care, but I have a budget. You can come if you want?"

"Oh I can't," she told him simply without elaborating further.

"Ok," he nodded when it was clear she wasn't going to reveal any more.

"You know you can go online and put all the items you want on a list and then print out the list in the order the items appear in the shop?"

"No you freak I didn't," he smirked at her irritated expression.

"At least I'm an organized freak who doesn't waste money and time."

"Touché," he said with a grin as he continued dismantling his notice board. "I'll do it tonight."

"And your taste has definitely improved?" she cast another worried look around his room.

"Definitely," he chuckled and threw an old stuffed toy at her.

"Hey," she protested and chucked it back hitting him on the head.

"Don't tempt me into battle with you," he warned her preparing to fling the toy again.

"It's not like you'd win," she muttered dismissively.

"No, you'd win but I'm pretty sure I'd find it hard to try and resist kissing you."

"Stop referring to kissing me, it gets in the way of the fun," she muttered a blush on her cheeks.

"But I want to kiss you and I think you might want to kiss me to," his damn heart was flying all over his body again.

"I like us like this Pacey. I don't want a relationship with you."

"But you don't deny you want to kiss me," he stared at her and she stared back.

"If you want my help, stop," she warned and he nodded throwing the toy at her again.

"Ok, ok."

* * *

Over lunch they were alone in the apartment. They sat on the couch, he ordered take out and they watched a movie. Joey was asleep before the closing credits and he wasn't far behind. She awoke in time to shower and head to her night shift.

The following morning he waited for her to come home before heading to his parents. But Joey didn't come home. She had the day off, he knew she did but she didn't come home after her shift and when he bumped into Jen she told him Joey was running errands. Jen gave him an apology but she was working and so he took his van over to his parents and prepared to move alone.

He was lugging up the fifth box when he bumped into Joey coming into the apartment block from the grocery store.

"Hey... Surely one of your siblings would help you move even if Jack and Doug are away? Surely you're not moving in by yourself?"

"Yeah...well Gretchen did offer to help then stood and watched me before heading to meet a friend for brunch. Jack and Doug are coming home later tonight and they're bringing Andie!"

"His sister?" her mouth fell open delightfully before she smiled.

"They're heading back here late," Pacey rolled his eyes and shifted the heavy box.

"What's she like? I can't imagine a girl version of Jack," she closed her eyes momentarily as if trying to conjure the image.

"She's nothing like Jack," Pacey chuckled. "She's very...intense. Talks a mile a minute and freaks out about everything..." he'd meant to keep it light but something in his tone clearly hinted at his less than kind feelings because Joey asked,

"You're not a fan?" her eyes narrowed.

"Potter, this box is heavy, how about I heft this the rest of the way upstairs and you give me a little company. Then we'll heft the next boxes together and I'll tell you all about my sordid little love affair with Andie McPhee," he grinned and she laughed and climbed the two flights of stairs with him, veering off to her apartment to shove her cold stuff in the fridge and meeting him back on the landing.

"So tell me," she was clearly interested in his little bit of gossip.

"We dated..."

"Shocking," she interrupted with heavy sarcasm.

"You want me to tell you or not?"

"Go on, go on," she pretended to zip her lips.

"Actually why did you say 'shocking' like that? Like I date a ton of people?" he looked a her a little offended but she just laughed again,

"Most of the women and a good proportion of the men in the hospital are already talking about you," she shrugged, "I guess I thought...well..."

"That I date a lot?" he smirked.

"Well yeah...I mean why wouldn't you if you're getting the offers?" she tilted her head to one side not seeming to see the irony of her questions.

"I don't know why wouldn't you?" he asked pointedly.

"Well I have my reasons and you, you have a reputation! I have lived with your best friend for over a year. He does talk about you a lot."

"And yet he never mentioned I dated his sister!?" Pacey cursed Jack for telling Joey stories about his endeavours with women.

"No. My favourite is your English teacher...I don't know whether to be impressed or repulsed," she nudged her shoulder against his.

"Jack is in so much trouble," Pacey growled blushing. Joey touched his cheek softly,

"Reds a nice colour on you," she teased gently which only caused him to blush more. And his heart to hammer, his pulse to race, his body to reel, his libido to jump. It was fucking ridiculous.

"So we dated. She was my first love," he began hesitantly relieved to be opening his car and handing her a light box rather than looking at her.

"Sorry... I've been teasing when maybe this is all more serious for you," she was suddenly repentant.

"Oh it was at the time...but you know I've let it go."

"So what happened?"

"She cheated on me. Slept with another guy. Suddenly all the qualities I once found endearing were more annoying, " he explained honestly.

"Wow, she sounds nice," the sarcasm was heavy.

"I shouldn't have told you. I don't want to taint your opinion of her, she's Jacks sister after all. I try and get on with her for that reason. Funny thing is, she doesn't get that I don't feel like that about her anymore. She acts like I'm still pining away for her."

"What's she do?"

"She's a doctor," Pacey said somewhat apologetically.

"You know, not every nurse wanted to be a doctor. Some of us actually chose nursing because we wanted to be nurses."

"I know...I didn't mean..." Pacey had never seen Joey cross and he hadn't expected the flashing eyes, the stomping foot and the crossed arms. She was utterly, heart stoppingly sexy.

"I love being a nurse. I don't think doctors are more important than nurses, despite what you lot think. Without us, you lot are screwed and most of us aren't so full of ourselves to not know that without you we're screwed. The words are 'medical team' but everyone treats you lot like gods and us like the maid," she glared a him.

"I didn't mean..." he began but she cut him off.

"So you weren't all apologetic about the fact that's she's a doctor because you felt like you were rubbing it in, that she was what I probably wanted to be," Joey glared at him and dropped the box on the landing outside his apartment.

"Actually no, that wasn't what I meant at all," Pacey thundered, furious at being so misunderstood and misinterpreted.

"Sure," she rolled her damn eyes again.

"I used that apologetic tone because I stupidly didn't want you to think I only date doctors, because I don't. I date nurses too and non medical people..." he trailed off his anger abating.

"Why on earth would you want me to know that?" she was still glaring, her anger clearly not yet spent.

"So you know I'd date you," he tried to explain.

"You ask me out nearly every day, I know you'd date me," she raised her hands in exasperation.

"Well I didn't want there to be any confusion," he uttered meekly and she laughed.

"Pacey, why don't you forget about trying to date me and be friends with me?"

"I would but what if I'm busy being friends with you and some other guy comes in and sweeps you off your feet."

"There'll be no sweeping Pace," she gave his arm a squeeze. "I don't say I don't date to challenge men, I mean I'm really not interested in dating anyone. I do not want a relationship. I really do not date."

"And if that changed would you tell me... You know, to prevent the sweeping?" he hated feeling so vulnerable.

"I'd tell you, but it isn't going to happen. So stop attempting to ask me out and just be my friend."

"Sure, ok, I can do that," he nodded and picked up his box. She smiled and picked up hers.

* * *

The rest of the box shifting went smoothly and pretty fast considering there was no furniture to empty any of the boxes into.

"You moved backwards," Joey claimed as they grabbed a couple of beers and slumped onto the couch in her apartment.

"Excuse me?" he arched a brow at her.

"You should have gone to Ikea today. I could have helped. Then you'd have constructed the furniture and had somewhere to unpack your boxes. But you're stuck here for another night and you have to buy and construct all your furniture tomorrow and thus you'll have no time to unpack until your next day off. Like I said backwards."

"Being stuck here an extra night isn't so bad," he gave her a positively suggestive look but she just laughed.

"So, you're blaming bad planning on ulterior motives, that's it?"

"Yep," he grinned and slurped his beer.

"So what are you cooking me tonight?"

"Take out?" he gave her an optimistic look.

"Hey, I helped you move your stuff..."

"Two boxes.." he interrupted.

"And I helped with the two boxes. I think you owe me this risotto you so love to make and eat. What type was it anyway?"

"Butternut squash," he wrinkled his nose as she laughed.

"Now that I have to try," she used his leg as leverage to push herself out of her seat. "What do you need?"

"Red onion, risotto rice, a butternut squash, vegetable stock, parsley, white wine, peas...some asparagus...Parmesan"

"Oh," she frowned, "so we have none of that stuff in our fridge or cupboards."

"I'll go pick it up," he shrugged easily. If he could cook for Joey, that would be perfect, much better than take out.

"Ok... Pace?" she looked pensive. He loved the way she called him Pace. Talk about a turn on.

"Jo?"

"If Andie's here tonight, where are you planning to sleep?"

"Oh," his face fell. "Um..."

"Backward planning like I said," she looked positively triumphant.

"Enough with the gleeful triumph and help me work this out. I really don't want to go back home with the folks. Have you guys got a blow up mattress I could sleep on?" he spoke whilst grabbing his wallet and some reusable bags from the kitchen, Joey walking with him.

"No," she shook her head.

"I'm not sharing the couch with anyone but you," he stated with a determined look. "I guess it's home I go. Maybe Jack could stay with Doug?"

"I wouldn't think so if they're getting back late. How late is late anyway?"

"Jack said ten, but Doug said that meant midnight, maybe later," Pacey shrugged, disappointed that his evening with Joey was now blighted by his lack of sleeping options. "I'll just sleep on the floor at my new place. I know Jack has a sleeping bag. It's only one night," he brightened considerably with his new plan. At least his evening with Joey was safe.

"You are keen to avoid home, huh?" she appraised him carefully.

"And keen to spend time with you," he shrugged easily as they trundled down the stairs.

"Pacey," she warned him.

"I like you, so shoot me," he rolled his eyes and hooked his arm through hers.

"You are fun to be around," she conceded.

"Well of course," he wrinkled his nose and led them into a small grocers, grabbed a basket and began to fill it.

"Modest too," she chuckled throwing in a bar of chocolate.

"Well, let's look at the facts. Jack is my best friend - he's fun. You're pretty cool and you're my friend. Why would all these fun and cool people hang out with me if I wasn't fun and cool too?"

"Like I said, modest," she arched her brows and hip checked him.

"Just stating the facts," he chose some parsley.

"And sounding immensely cocky at the same time."

"Mheh," he shrugged easily and gave her a quick grin. "So let's pay for this and then head to the liquor store at the end of the street for the wine?"

"Sounds great! And before we drink too much wine we should do your ikea list."

"If you're sure," Pacey was keen to check out Joey's taste as he had not been privy to her room yet.

They paid for the groceries, stopped by the liquor store where Pacey was ID'd much to his embarrassment. And with the sound of Joey's gentle mocking in his ears they pushed back into her apartment where she promptly went to her room and got her laptop before joining him in the kitchen to watch him chop vegetables as she started his ikea list.

As Pacey reeled off types of bookshelf and leaned over her shoulder to choose a table, a desk for his office, a couch, chairs, bed, mattress and coffee table it seemed to him that despite the odd debate between this item and that item, he and Joey were mostly in accord. But when he said he was done she looked at him scathingly,

"You're such a man," she grumbled.

"Yes, I know," he smirked back at her, delighted with her irritation.

"What about, I don't know, plates to eat off, cutlery to eat with, pans to cook with, mugs for coffee, a kettle to boil water..."

"Oh, yeah. I guess I would have just chosen all that there."

"And how about something to make the place yours?"

"Like what?" he asked after pouring her a glass of wine and chucking half a bottle in the risotto.

"Blankets, cushions..."

"Ok, good plan. I'll choose stuff when I'm there."

"Do you have sheets and towels?"

"Nothing nice," he frowned again. "Please come with me?" he pleaded at length stirring at his risotto.

"I can't," she stated.

"Why not? You're not working," he was pleading and he knew it. Her face softened slightly and she gave his cheeks a patronizing squeeze,

"You'll do fine! I'm going home for the morning if you must know."

"And where's home?" he was immediately captivated by the tidbit of news.

"Down the coast a little," she focused on finding plates and cutlery.

"Down the coast where? Way to go on the specifics," he was teasing because he knew from experience he was unlikely to get much from her.

"A little town called Capeside. Most people haven't heard of it. It's a pretty little seaside town, with a nice boardwalk and a nice beach. That's about it."

"And your family?" he could literally see her closing down.

"Yep," she nodded as she set the table.

"Well you're going to miss all the fun, and a delicious cinnamon roll."

"Hmmm," her head snapped to look at him, "you make a great point. Never mind my planned trip home, I'm heading to ikea for a cinnamon roll," she narrowed her eyes in sarcastic triumph.

"Ha ha," he spooned her out some risotto having put the grated Parmesan on the table.

"This looks good."

"It is," he assured her.

"And after all the work I did on your list, especially the printing out of it in store order - I think you can manage to bring me a cinnamon roll home!"

"Well since you asked so nicely," he grinned wishing their dinner was a date. It felt like a date except of course it so definitely wasn't. She'd told Jack she wouldn't date him and yet the vibe between them was so strong. He was desperate to touch her - desperate.

They ate with easy conversation and teasing, and plenty of wine and when they were done they headed to the couch to eat the chocolate.

"How are you still awake Jo?" Pacey asked.

"I'm not entirely sure, I haven't slept in over twenty four hours and I've worked a twelve hour shift," she promptly yawned and he chuckled.

"I know how you feel," he yawned as well.

"I feel bad with you sleeping on the floor," she sighed with heavy eyes.

"I could always share your bed," he teased, "after all we've been sharing the couch all week," she turned to look at him with an odd expression and he immediately regretted the flirtatious tease. "I was kidding Jo." She looked at him and frowned a little.

"You could. Platonically of course. I mean it's true, we've slept together on this couch," she shrugged easily.

"You mean I'd get to see your room!"

"My room is not exactly special."

"Well I wouldn't know," he grinned.

"Look I'm shattered so I'm going to head through the bathroom and to bed. If you promise not to wake me, you can share," she gave him an easy shrug apparently oblivious to his pounding heart and rock hard cock,

"Sure," the word came out a little strangled but she didn't seem to notice, "thanks. I'll probably come to bed now - won't wake you then," he remained sitting waiting for her to head to the bathroom so he could try and get himself under control. He wasn't sure sharing her bed was such a good idea. How on earth would he manage to not touch her when touching her was all he wanted to do? And even if his conscious self managed restraint, would his subconscious self fare so well? But then on the other hand, how could he knock an opportunity to spend the night in the bed of the girl he loved? No not loved, he reprimanded himself. But then no other word seemed to quite encapsulate how he felt about her.

"Argh," he moaned softly, surprised by a soft laugh from the doorway. "Joey," he breathed her name, standing on automatic. She looked gorgeous in her flannel pj pants and white vest.

"You ok?" she gave him a concerned look.

"Absolutely," he stood in front of her, too close. He knew he was too close but couldn't seem to be further away. "Ummm...just going to go through the bathroom..." He didn't move, couldn't seem to move. "I like your um...reindeers."

"My reindeers?" her eyes hadn't left his.

"Yeah," he ran a hand across her hip, his fingers brushing the fabric.

"Yeah..." she bit her lip and he groaned - out loud.

"I'm going...to the umm...yeah..." he squeezed her hip softly and she exhaled, warm breath onto his neck and he groaned again, before pushing past her.

* * *

It took a cold shower to calm himself enough to make it to the door of Joey's bedroom. Several deep breathes, a tap on the door and he slowly opened the door. His eyes skipped the room entirely and landed on Joey who was sat up in bed with _Cats Cradle._ He stared at her as she looked to him.

"Hey," she smiled that soft smile and he looked around the room to distract from the complete rush of desire.

"So ummm your room..." he searched for something to say about it but came up short. There were about three tall white bookcases along one wall filled with books. A white dresser, with some makeup and perfume on top and a wardrobe. Aside from her bed made up with white sheets that was it. "Where is the you in this room?"

"Excuse me?" she arched a brow.

"You know the embarrassing photos, the mementos and keepsakes? The nostalgic memorabilia?"

"None of that I'm afraid, though there is a graduation photo tucked into the side of my mirror," she smirked.

"Ok, your books," he perused her bookshelves, "so you're a fan of the classics..."

"For sure."

"And pretty much everything else..."

"I'm not a book snob. I'll read anything and everything, though I do favour the classics."

"Ooh..I'll admit I'm a total book snob," he chuckled.

"Well you're missing out."

"Sure I am. There is enough badly written drivel in this world but there is even more that is well written and actually enriches the brain."

"You're missing the point. I obviously favour those books that contribute to the brain and the soul, but sometimes I just want to be entertained. I really want to just forget everything else."

"So you read drivel?"

"You can't complain about a book, or form a proper argument against the author if you haven't read it."

"So I should read this?" he held up a copy of _Twilight_.

"Hmmm that..." she thought for a moment, "I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it. I read it fast enough," she patted the bed and he moved over and sat on top of the covers. "No in the bed, that will just annoy me." Hesitantly Pacey pulled back the covers and slipped in beside her, oh but it felt wonderfully intimate.

"So I should read it?"

"The story is ok I suppose," she said at length, "but she goes for the wrong guy. Read it and see if you agree, though you'll have to read all four books."

"Four books?" He frowns.

"Yep," she nodded with a smile.

"Ok," he nodded and settling beside her, he opened the book. "I'm not sure I can do it," he said at length and she elbowed him.

"Ignore what you don't like and just get into the story."

"Fine, but let me remind you I have given you the wonderful experience of a truly wonderful author...you've given me this," he shook the book at her.

"Suck it Pace," she smirked before putting her book down.

"You want to turn off the light?"

"You read," she lay down on her side, her face and body turned toward him.

"No I'll sleep with you," he told her and then blushed furiously at his double entendre.

"Hmmm, sounds fun," she teased with a sleepy smile.

"Don't tempt me," he lay down beside her.

"Light off Pace," she whispered.

"It's next to you," he complained.

"Hmmm," she smiled with her eyes closed.

"High maintenance," he muttered reaching over her for the switch, his body blissfully pressing against hers. As he flopped back onto his side of the bed he couldn't resist trailing his hand across her. She sighed as he tucked his arms under her clean smelling sheets. It was ludicrous just how alert and unsleepy he was. His fingers were literally itching to touch her, they were desperate for her and she was lying there warm and soft and right next to him, so, so close. He couldn't seem to take his eyes off of her, she was incredibly beautiful. Her skin was smooth, her cheekbones delightfully arched, her brows perfect and her lips - those lips. He stared at her eyes, the long lashes spayed across the warm tan of her skin. When her eyes opened he jumped.

"Didn't mean to scare you but I can feel you staring," she reached between them and took his hand, moving it to her hip. "That better?" she whispered with a look that left him breathless. He merely squeezed her hip and nodded his fingers flicking her vest out the way and running across the tight smooth skin of her stomach. Without being able to stop himself he bent his head and pressed his lips to the warm curve of her neck. He kissed her skin softly before just breathing against that warm skin. Her breathing was deep, and whilst she didn't touch him, she didn't push him away. His body moved of it's own accord and pressed up tight against her. He knew she could feel how much he wanted her, but he had to be close to her, it was absolutely necessary. His legs entwined with hers and his hand tugged at her hip pulling her closer still, an involuntary groan rumbling against her skin.

"I want you," he breathed the words, his hand venturing to her ass, another kiss pressed to her neck.

"I know," she moved ever so slightly against him. He pulled her even closer kissing her neck again. "This is ok, but just friends Pace, please just friends."

He couldn't answer immediately because goddamned tears stung at his eyes. "Just friends," he agreed at length but kissed her neck again because she'd said it was ok, his hips moved against her without his say so and she let out a soft moan.

"Pace," that one word, his name on her lips and he moved his lips to hers. For one beautiful second his lips and hers united but then she moved her head and so he turned his lips back to her neck where they were apparently permitted. His hand traced her soft skin, up under her tank until it collided with the soft, curve of her chest, creating a feeling in him so strong that he buried his face against her fighting against the three little words that still desperately wanted out of him. "Sleep now," she told him and so he lay with her, his face buried against her neck, his hand up her shirt and his obvious hard on pressed against her until eventually, he somehow drifted off with her soft breathing as a lullaby.

* * *

Pacey awoke when Joey shifted away from him, his hand trailing out from under her top, his hips and his still significant hard on being released from it's close proximity to her body.

"No," he protested and tugged at her hip.

"I have to go," she put her hand on his and removed it from her hip.

"No," he murmured again and pushed his hand against hers until he managed to regain her hip.

"I've got to get going," she repeated but she didn't move and actually moaned as his hand trailed up under her top, over her ribs, across her chest, his fingers brushing her nipple.

"Joey," Pacey groaned and his hips bucked against her, "I want you."

"So you keep saying, but I really have to go."

"It's still the middle of the night," he protested and trailed his hand down and round to the curve of her ass, slipping it under the waist band of her pjs and onto the smooth, silky skin.

"It's seven," she told him. "I have to go."

"Really?" he couldn't help the puppy dog eyes.

"Pacey, we discussed this yesterday," she attempted despite the fact that his hand was on her bare ass.

"Friends, I know, friends," he whispered.

"And I do have to go."

"Do you want to?" he asked.

"Of course not," she moved against him - it was bliss.

"Good," he growled slightly.

"But I have to."

"No you don't," he pleaded.

"I really do," and she disengaged from him and slipped out of her bed. She grabbed a packed bag from in her closet and fished out some clothes from her drawers, Pacey watching her all the while. She turned at the door,

"Thanks for the first solid nights sleep in a really long time."

"Anytime Potter," he couldn't take his eyes off of her.

"See you later," she smiled.

"For sure," he nodded before burying himself in bed as the door shut behind her.

* * *

Whoever was knocking at his door was not patient, they were hammering as if their lives depending on it. Holding his ikea instructions and hammer in one hand he pulled open the door.

"Please say I can come hang out?" Joey was stood there looking harassed.

"You any good at Ikea furniture construction, or just the shopping for it part?" Pacey held out the instructions to her.

"I'm awesome at Ikea furniture," she grinned and took the instructions from him, crouching on the floor beside his half constructed chair and immediately getting to work. "I absolutely love building furniture - well furniture with instructions."

"Why the enthusiastic banging?" he asked watching her work. Her brown hair was scooped back into a scruffy ponytail, she was wearing just a black tank top and a pair of sweats and her face was a picture of concentration. His heart ached.

"Oh...um...let's just say I find Andie a...challenge," she smiled at him.

"In all honesty, so do I," he chuckled.

"I wanted to like her, for Jack, but after what you told me and, well she's just so damn perky. This morning she cheered and squeaked at me before I'd even had my coffee. Nobody without a death wish does that."

"Need your coffee first thing, huh?" he smirked.

"Surely you've noticed that? One cup and I'll communicate, two and I'll be nice about it," she didn't look at him as she grabbed the screwdriver and began screwing in the teeny tiny screws that had bothered him so.

"You done this before?" he asked rhetorically grabbing a couple of diet cokes from the fridge and putting one beside her.

"Oh I've constructed a ton of ikea furniture," she started pushing the chair this way and that, "these chairs are fun because of the colour but a real bitch to construct!" They were bright red, Pacey's favourite colour.

"When did you do all this construction?" he asked with a chuckle at the exertion it took to snap the bits of the chair into place.

"Oh, a while ago," she said dismissively. "let's do the table and then another chair," she said with a glare at the offending three chairs still in their packets.

"I've also got my bed and about four bookshelves to do," he smiled at her angelically.

"I'll build, but you cook me dinner," she bargained.

"Sure, sure," he agreed readily. "what do you want? I can do stuffed peppers or vegetarian spaghetti?"

"Oooh, decisions," she stopped what she was doing and quirked her head to the side. "Stuffed peppers," she announced decisively.

"Good choice," Pacey moved to the counter and began pulling ingredients out of the fridge. "How was Capeside?" he looked at her but her facial expression remained the same,

"Oh, ok," she shrugged.

"Nice to catch up with family?"

"It was ok," she repeated. "The weather was nice. I went rowing on the creek even though it's about minus five."

"Crazy girl," he took the hint that he wasn't going to be privy to her home life.

"Can I ask you a question?" she sounded unsure of herself.

"Anything," Pacey carried on washing and chopping, putting some rice on the go.

"You...and Andie...I don't really get it," she frowned slightly. "I'm just trying to work it out."

"Why?" Pacey asked with a chuckle and watched Joey tense up.

"Sometimes people confuse me ok? You're so down to earth, so easy going and so nice," she had stopped working but then started again with renewed enthusiasm, "I mean Andie - she really does think doctors are superior to nurses, she said as much to Jack, her own brother! She also seems really stressy and kind of out there..."

"God it was so long ago," Pacey paused in his chopping. "I don't really know what creates chemistry but sometimes you have it and sometimes you don't," he tried to explain.

"So you and Andie have chemistry?" she clarified.

"Had," Pacey quickly asserted.

"Had?" again with the frown, "but if chemistry comes and goes, well how does anybody manage to stay together?"

"Wow, tough questions. I don't know. I suppose I think Andie and I were young. We were 15 and she was bright and sunny, the sister of my best friend, I suppose that was enough. We had enough zing between us to make it work for a while, but I guess it can wear off. And just because chemistry does fade doesn't mean it will."

"So what about your other girlfriends?"

"You sure you don't want to date me, cos you're awful interested," he teased watching the flush creep over her face.

"It's fine, never mind.. I was being nosy, it doesn't matter..."

"Chill out Potter," Pacey interrupted with a chuckle. "Contrary to popular belief I haven't had that many girlfriends, now hold on," Pacey wanted to continue but Joey looked on the verge of interrupting, "I really haven't. Andie in high school and Audrey in college. Well Miss Jacobs too but I don't think she really counts, we weren't exactly on first name terms after all," Pacey mused and was surprised by Joeys laugh.

"No I shouldn't think she counts," she agreed still chuckling. "And I guess the 'escapades' Jack's so fond of telling us about, they don't count?"

"Oh boy," Pacey let out a big sigh. He loved Jack, he really did, but the guy had an enormous mouth. "The way I see it is there are three types of chemistry," he drained the rice as Joey turned the completed table right side up and moved on to her next chair.

"Three?" she raised her brows.

"Yeah, physical chemistry where the lust goes crazy - they're casual sex, personality chemistry where you just get on so well - they're your best friend and then chemistry with both - they're your everything. You marry the person with both types," he shrugged easily all the while feeling that somehow Joey was type 3. He reminded himself, yet again, that he was just getting to know her.

"That was very concise and sounds likely," she nodded. "That's if you believe in chemistry."

"You don't believe in chemistry?" Pacey was incredulous - how could she not be feeling what he felt? How could she not feel the electric pull between them that was both physical and emotional. It was over whelming him entirely and yet she seemed to be wholly unaffected. Would life really be that unfair? Then again, she had just known that Pacey needed to touch her the previous night. She had put his hands on her.

"I think Hollywood and novels and magazines want us to believe in all that but I just don't buy it. I think you work at a relationship and when one person stops working at it, it will all fall apart, or drift apart! Because after all not everything collapses," she stopped working for a moment and took a long drink of her diet coke. Pacey considered this for a moment,

"Is that what happened to you?" he asked softly and he saw the shock register before she smiled gamely and joked,

"Nothing happened to me Pace," she looked down at the floor. "I just think about things too much. I over think things."

"Well I for one believe in chemistry," Pacey proclaimed glibly.

"You do, huh?" she was teasing.

"Yeah, but I also believe what you say. There are times over the course of a relationship where you need to work on it, get the magic back and that's where love plays a part."

"I could see my way to that being true," she nodded and pushed the completed chair under the table.

"You are very good at constructing furniture," Pacey praised as he put the peppers into the oven.

"And I'm hoping your cooking wasn't a one hit wonder," she smirked. "Now if you're done for a second we need to go make your bed together," she headed off for his bedroom. Pacey couldn't help but wish she were headed there for a different reason.

* * *

They nearly fell out constructing the bed. Pacey wasn't organized according to Joey and he was messing with her systems. He was there to listen and do as asked she had informed him archly. He tried but it was fun to get her all worked up. After two glasses of wine, dinner, endless banter, another glass of wine and a lot of conversation, and then another hour, the bed was constructed and then with some considerable effort they heaved the king sized mattress onto the frame.

"That's the heaviest damn mattress ever," Joey complained flopping back onto the bed in exhaustion. Pacey fell back onto the bed beside her, both of them breathing heavily from the exertion.

"Thanks Jo," he murmured mesmerised by the slope of her forehead, the slant of her cheekbone, the shape of her eyes, the smell of her, the nearness of her. He was a magnet and she was his polar opposite and like the opposite poles of a magnet they were drawn together. Her mouth called for his to kiss it. Her eyes dropped shut and then opened staring at him, blatantly holding his, openly looking at the different emotions written across his stormy eyes. His whole body throbbed with a bone deep longing for her. Without conscious thought he brought his hand to her face and his finger traced the soft skin in a line down her cheekbone, over her plump lip and then down her bare arm. Her eyes fluttered shut as his hand came to rest on the soft hollow of her waist next to the gorgeous swell of her hip. She didn't protest. Pacey could scarcely breathe, could scarcely think but he calmed his mind, took pleasure in the act of holding her and touching her without dwelling on what he really wanted, what his body desperately wanted. And strangely it was enough. The fact that they were lying face to face on his bed, his hand resting on her was just about perfect.

"I could just fall asleep," she sighed and he moved closer to her, close like they had been the night before, and then he pressed his face against her again, to the warmth and sweet smelling curve of her neck, his lips placing a kiss on her soft skin.

"I'm not surprised," he responded and then kissed her again.

"I should go," she said softly but didn't move. Pacey's fingers twitched at the material of her tank until they found bare skin where upon they began to trace patterns across the silky softness. She sighed and stretched slightly, and so he allowed his hand to move across her back, and to the lace of her bra, before trailing down and resting just under the edge of her sweats, holding her close to him.

When the knocking on the door began 5 minutes later she didn't stir and he realised she must have fallen asleep. He removed his hand with great reluctance and she shifted, her eyes opening.

"Hey...did I fall asleep?"

"Yeah," he smiled softly.

"Oh wow, I'm tired," she yawned as the knocking began again, his hand somehow finding it's way back to the soft sliver of skin in that wonderful hollow.

"That's why I woke you," he explained indicating the knocking with a nod of his head. He wanted to kiss her, and so he kissed that one place she seemed happy for him to.

"This mattress is a really nice mattress," she closed her eyes again briefly. The knocking began again and then a plaintive voice called,

"Pacey Witter I know you're in there somewhere, come out and say hello!"

"Andie," Pacey and Joey said in unison and then laughed.

"She only wants you, I can stay and sleep," she teased. They stared at one another for several prolonged moments.

"Pacey...and Joey, wow, well... Hmmm," Andie was stood in the doorway to Pacey's room, "when you said you had to go out, well I didn't realise you and Pacey were seeing each other..."

"I hadn't answered the door," Pacey pointed out. "It's customary to wait until someone lets you in," Pacey hated that Joey sat up rubbing her eyes, his hand falling from the bare skin of her waist.

"We're not seeing each other Andie," she explained, "we're friends that's all. I was helping put the furniture together. The bed was hard work," she rolled her eyes looking slightly uncomfortable.

"Uh huh," Andie stated with disbelief looking utterly hurt. Pacey sighed,

"Even if we were seeing each other, what's the issue?" He was livid.

"Well you could have warned me."

"Why? Because we dated in high school?"

"I still care about you Pacey, I still wonder what might have been," she was tearing up.

"I think this is my cue to leave," Joey looked painfully uncomfortable. "Thanks for dinner Pace," she kissed his cheek. Pacey practically died on the spot, she kissed him. Oh boy, she kissed him. As Joey headed out Andie muttered,

"You are ridiculous Pacey Witter."

* * *

"You're a mean woman Potter, walking out and leaving me like that yesterday," Pacey claimed when their paths crossed at the hospital the following day.

"Not my ex-girlfriend, not my problem," Joey teased with a smirk.

"I'll have you know she wouldn't leave until after one in the morning," Pacey grumbled.

"Oh I got dagger eyes this morning. Apparently she just doesn't buy it that nothing is 'going on.' She also found further derogatory comments to make about my profession of choice - skilfully articulated I will admit."

"I'm sorry about that Jo," he was stood close to her. She was adorable in her scrubs. "Sailboats today, huh?" he fingered the short sleeve of her top, his voice low.

"I liked the colours," she flushed, it was too damn easy.

"I'd like to take you sailing one day," he told her softly and when she looked ready to protest he continued, "we'll get Jen and Jack, Dougy, make a picnic."

"I've never been sailing," she couldn't seem to look at his eyes.

"And you grew up down the coast," his fingers moved from the sleeve of her top to the soft skin of her arm and she let out a soft exhalation of air.

"No real chance I guess," she shrugged and with a shiver took a step back. "See you later, Doctor Witter," and she was gone.

* * *

Later that night the door to his apartment burst open without even a knock and Joey rushed in looking beyond frantic, storming straight up to him and practically climbed up his body and into his arms. Today was looking like it might be a great day he decided.

"There's a rat," she squealed, "I...I.."

"It's ok Potter, it's not gonna get you here," Pacey teased lightly, his arms wrapped around her, his warm breath against her neck.

"But it was big and huge and wondering around our apartment," she squeezed him.

"Have you seen any sign of rats?" he asked calmly.

"Of course not, otherwise I wouldn't be there," she cringed and gingerly removed herself from his arms, "sorry I got kind of freaked out there, I'm not a fan of rodents. Spiders I can do, but those horrible yucky tails, no way," she shook her head shifting nervously from one foot to the other.

"So shall we go take a look together?" Pacey watched her expression change from calm to panic in a second.

"No way, not now, not ever," she backed away from the door and toward him again. Pacey was not unhappy with this turn of events. "You have to get rid of it," she stated.

"Me?" Pacey squeaked.

"You. Jack and Doug are out with Andie, Jen's on the night shift, so you have to get rid if it.."

"Oh I forgot about that," Pacey hadn't forgotten at all, he'd secretly been hoping for some time with Joey.

"Pacey - the rat," she eyed the door nervously.

"Ok Potter," he relented and taking her hand dragged her reluctantly across the hall not really thinking about the rodent, more about he feel of her hand in his and how natural it felt. "Where was it?"

"Kitchen," she was shaking and clinging to his back as they headed into the kitchen, and there sat on the floor munching on a dropped chip was that bastard rat. Pacey wasn't proud of what happened next but he'd never actually seen a rat, in an apartment, nor had the girl of his dreams clinging to his hand in fear. Pacey screamed, properly screamed and holding tightly to Joeys hand ran from the apartment, slamming its door, dragged her into his apartment and slammed that door too.

"So, you're staying here tonight," he announced solemnly and Joey nodded, peeing herself laughing,

"Too right I am," she agreed still laughing and clinging to him.

"Sorry about the whole screaming like a little girl bit," Pacey bit his lip embarrassed.

"First, you screamed like a man, second, gender doesn't dictate irrational fear," she was still laughing.

"Well you could stop laughing about now," he pouted.

"Sure, I could," she grinned. "Please tell me you have something to drink, I think I've got shock."

"Do you need a doctor to check you over?" Pacey smirked.

"I think I'll cope but only if you've got something to drink?" she flopped onto his new couch and curled her feet up under her.

"Just tequila," he shrugged.

"What kind of drink is that for a grown man to have?"

"It was a gift I was bringing to your party next weekend," Pacey rolled his eyes.

"It'll do," Joey shrugged carelessly. "Just soon please."

"Sure thing Potter. Would you like some dinner? I was thinking some Mexican to go with the tequila? I have enchiladas half made?"

"Is there no end to what you can cook?" Joey rolled her eyes.

"None at all," Pacey was unabashed as he got out the tequila and put it on the coffee table (that Joey had built) and added salt and lemon. Then without meaning to, but actually completely on purpose he set the table with candles.

Joey appraised him through narrowed eyes.

"This isn't a date you know," she clarified.

"I know because you don't date." Pacey nodded.

"Do I have to find somewhere else to hang out?" she asked as he lit the candles.

"Joey, I like to set a mood when I make the effort to cook," he grumbled.

"Sure," she murmured with a grin. "Can I help?"

"Yeah chop these," he handed her a red onion.

"I cry like a baby when I chop onions," she shook her head and reached for the peppers.

"You are one high maintenance lady," Pacey teased.

"Hey, you were as scared of the rat as me!"

"I was, huh!"

"How am I ever going to sleep in there," she frowned looking horrified.

"You can stay here like I said," Pacey reminded her oh so casually.

"Sure," she smiled that little smile of hers.

"My mattress is really comfy I've been told and I'll take the couch," he nudged her shoulder. "Though..." he allowed the implied insinuation. After all they'd shared a bed the previous night.

"You wouldn't mind?"

"Well I'd rather share the bed..."

"Pacey!"

"Just sayin',"

"Anything else to just say?" Joey arched a brow.

"Yeah, you look beautiful and when you're scared of rats you're fucking gorgeous," he grinned unrepentant.

"Ok, so I have a game. You're on the night shift shift tomorrow right?"

"You know my shifts?" he interrupted his eyes shining in triumph.

"Somehow you've managed it so we share nearly every shift," she rolled her eyes.

"So you were saying?" Pacey watched her move the tequila and bits to the table.

"Well maybe we should make the tequila a forfeit," she looked down at the table and poured a couple of shots.

"A forfeit?"

"Every time you treat this like a date, you drink," she smirked.

"And when do you drink?" he asked.

"Up to you," she sat down and leant back in her chair to await his decision. The possibilities steamed through Paceys head - he couldn't mess this up.

"Ok... So let's say you drink every time you refuse to properly answer a question or avoid answering altogether!" that was perfect for the elusive Joey Potter.

"That's pretty good," she smiled at him as he began to fry up the onions he'd finished chopping. With a sigh she began on the peppers making Pacey chuckle,

"No you're pretty," it was out before Pacey could stop himself because she really was incredibly pretty and someone that pretty aught to be told. Without hesitation Joey handed him a shot.

"It was worth it," he grinned as he threw it back.

"I'm starving," Joey shot a look toward the food.

"Then chop faster... And try eating lunch sometimes. There's 3 meals in a day for a reason."

"There's never time to eat lunch," Joey wrinkled her nose.

"There's never time because you're too dedicated," he explained.

"That's ridiculous - how can a nurse be described as too dedicated," she laughed.

"So maybe that's the wrong word... But you find it hard to let go," he attempted.

"And so do you," she responded. "And that's why you're a brilliant doctor and I'm a brilliant nurse," she summarised.

"You think I'm a brilliant doctor?" Pacey asked and then cringed at the ridiculous girl on a date tone he'd used, reached for the bottle and poured another shot without being told.

"I think you're having to forfeit far more than I," Joey smirked as Pacey began to assemble the enchiladas.

"That's only because I haven't asked any questions yet," he told her as he turned on the oven.

"So ask away," she attempted bravado.

"Do you like living with Jen and Jack?"

"Yes," she nodded.

"Do you think Jack and Doug will move in together?"

"Eventually, yeah, " she nodded again.

"You never think of becoming a doctor?" he wanted her to open up, he needed her to get on the tequila. He popped dinner in the oven and sat down at the table with her. She was so gorgeous, he didn't get how she got to be that damn beautiful, especially in her slobby clothes. He would be destroyed if she ever dressed up. She was wearing old jeans and a hoody and he was desperate for her.

"Yes I did," she nodded yet again.

"Why didn't you? It's no secret how smart you are, and I've seen your scores," he inched his hand across the table and his finger landed on hers. She pulled her hand away and poured him another shot.

"I wanted to be a nurse," she answered shortly.

"Why don't you sleep?" he asked.

"I do sleep."

"Don't deliberately misunderstand my questions. You know what I mean, Jo. Why do you find it hard to sleep?" he stared at her and she stared back and then reached for the tequila.

"As fun as I think you drunk would be, I wish you'd answer the question."

"Not everyone likes everyone to know everything," Joey explained with an easy going shrug.

"Does anyone know why you don't sleep?"

"No," Joey grinned.

"Where's all the you in your room?" She drank again and he rolled his eyes. "So tell me more about you - you said you grew up in some small town down the coast?" his damn fingers had found hers again - those pesky appendages. Sighing he reached for the bottle. He and Jen had gone for a drink the previous week. They had quickly become good friends. Jen seemed as keen for Joey to date Pacey as Pacey was. Unfortunately insight didn't come from hanging out with Joeys friends - he already knew she was complicated

"I grew up in Capeside, its about an hour away by train," she frowned fleetingly, then smiled, "how are you finding life back in your home town?"

"There's good and bad," he shrugged, "Jack and my siblings are here- thats good, Andie visits Jack - that's less good. "

"True," she laughed and Pacey wished that she could always be laughing.

"So what was Capeside like? Was it a nice place to grow up?"

"I suppose it was ok. Like I said, it was beautiful. It was a small town and unfortunately with small towns there are often there are small minds," she shrugged and looked longingly towards the oven. Pacey was amazed she was telling him so much.

"You have brothers and sisters?" he asked and she coughed uncomfortably.

"Um yeah a sister," she smiled sweetly, "what about you? Tell me more about your 'siblings?'"

"Well there's Dougy as you know, and my big sisters Gretchen, Anna and Carrie. I was the accident on the end!" he wasn't bothered about that anymore.

"That used to bother you by any chance?" she asked astutely.

"Of course," he smiled graciously. "Ask Jack. No one understood me, my parents hated me... Well of course my dad does actually hate me, " he acknowledged.

"I know your dads a bit heavy with the non verbals and grumpy, but he hates you?" a queer little frown was all over her beautiful face and so Pacey tried to be glib,

"My dad hates everyone," he shrugged.

"But how could anyone hate you?" it was such a sincere question that Paceys heart literally melted. This girl would absolutely finish him, he was sure.

"Believe me toots, I wasn't always this loveable!" he gave her a smile.

"I find that hard to believe?" she frowned again.

"You think I'm loveable?" again with the ridiculously girly tone. Pacey sighed and poured another shot.

"I exchanged loveable for likeable in my head, but yeah, I think you're extremely likeable. You seem like a positive guy," she leant back in her chair.

"It's hard to be upbeat when someone always puts you down," Pacey glared at his food.

"Your dad sounds like an ass," Joey squeezed his hand.

"He is. He absolutely is," Pacey couldn't agree more.

"So what motivated you if he didn't?" she asked.

"Well I suppose he did in a way. He put me down so I wanted to prove myself, and I did. But it stopped being about him somewhere along the way and I was proving it more to myself and as I proved it to myself my naturally sunny disposition found its way home," he smiled and she smiled back. Pacey wanted her so badly.

"I can understand that," Joey nodded and her eyes glazed over. Pacey watched her as she wallowed in her own thoughts for several moments.

"What are you thinking about?" Pacey asked startling Joey from her thoughts. There was no way to lie, so she poured herself another shot.

"What are you scared will happen if you open up?" Pacey frowned.

"That all the things I believe to be true will actually be true. At the moment I keep going because I can fantasise that I'm wrong," she seemed ill at ease and she began to fidget. Pacey realised he was screwing it up- he needed her happy, light and so he smiled a her,

"I have a fantasy I could share," he teased suggestively, but not seriously and whilst she appreciated the change of subject she poured him another shot.

"You're losing badly," she smirked.

"We'll see," he smirked back. "What do your parents do?" he asked after a mouthful.

"Damn you," she poured another shot.

"Seriously Potter, I wasn't even trying, that's like the most innocuous question in the world!"

"That depends upon what your parents do," she answered rather haughtily.

"Are you in touch with them?"

"My mom is dead, so no not really and my father... Hmmm, that's a definite no," she rolled her eyes for no reason other than the way he was staring at her.

"When did your mom die?"

"When I was 13. She had cancer. I guess that's part of why I'm a nurse, before you ask," Joey answered with a smirk. Pacey smiled back, the many tequilas beginning to blur his mind. For several moments he just smiled at her. Then he remembered dinner and went to check on it. He put the steaming dish on a mat on the table.

"Thank god," she breathed in the aroma.

"No, thank Pacey!" he corrected, happy to hear her laugh again. "So you left Capeside when?"

"Pacey," she chided and poured herself a shot beginning to feel the buzz of the alcohol in her veins.

"You don't want to tell me when you left?" Pacey couldn't understand it.

"This is partly why I don't date," Joey tried to explain.

"Forget about dating for a moment - you have friends Joey, surely you share stuff with them?" he watched her reaction and for several moments she seemed to think about it,

"Actually no I don't," she frowned slightly, "Jen and Jack know I have a sister... And the Capeside stuff I guess."

"Don't they ask you stuff?"

"I'm a better listener than talker. Jen and I discuss feelings without the specifics and Jack and I paint."

"Jack paints?" Pacey squeaked and it occurred to Joey that he really was rather adorable.

"Jack and I paint together," she confirmed. "And we talk but not about all that."

"What do you talk about?" Pacey felt bizarrely jealous.

"Sometimes we talk about you," she smiled.

"Me?" again with the squeak.

"Yeah... He thinks I should date you!"

"You should listen to the man," Pacey told her and pushed her hand away as he helped himself to the shot he deserved.

"But Pacey I don't date," she rolled her eyes.

"If you did, would you date me?" give me hope women, he thought, but Joey just helped herself to a shot.

"I think you're lovely, if that helps," she told him softly her words slightly slurred.

"I think you're beyond lovely," he reached for her hand again and then sighing took another shot. "Look, so you don't date.. I respect that."

"We are friends," she interrupted. "I really, really like being your friend."

"We were slightly more than just friends last night," he stared her down.

"What can I say? I find you attractive and you were staring at me," she wrinkled her nose.

"That's your excuse?" he gave her a look, well aware that he was flirting.

"You agreed that we were just friends."

"I did," he nodded.

"I didn't think you'd sleep unless you touched me," she bit her lip and gave him a cheeky look. "But just friends."

Pacey couldn't help but scowl.

"Well ok, so we're friends... I want to be better friends."

"We can be better friends... Provided when we hang out you accept it's not a date," she told him.

"I can accept it," he agreed readily, "but you have to accept that even if we're friends it doesn't change the fact that I think you're gorgeous and that sometimes I feel the need to tell you so!"

"Fine," she agreed though somewhat reluctantly.

"And I want to know more about you," he could see the alcohol had relaxed her and thanked the stars for tequila. He watched her face undergo a multitude of minuscule changes as she thought about that.

"I'll give you three questions," she said at length and took a mouthful of food moaning in delight.

"Fuck," Pacey muttered as he body responded forcefully to the noise.

"Three questions Pace," Joey smirked as if she knew exactly the effect she had on him.

"Oh wow, ok, yeah," Pacey couldn't believe his luck as Joey had a shot for the hell of it.

"You're cute when you're flustered," she smiled.

"You're always cute," he told her flippantly but meaning every word. The greater part of his brain was trying to wade through tequila for the right questions.

"So..." she took another bite of her dinner moaning again softly. "This is so, so good," she murmured. That was a good sign. He knew he had to think carefully. He wanted to get to know her and he wanted her to have fun, so it didn't want too go deep. On the other hand he didn't want to go too shallow. He and Joey had been working and living together for just over a couple of weeks and he now knew she gave very little away despite how fun and intriguing she was, and no matter how much she got him to give away.

"Ok... Your sister," sisters were usually a good starting point, "tell me about her?"

"That's more of a discussion point than a question!"Joey teased.

"Humour me," Pacey chuckled.

"Bessie is like six years older than me and acts more like my mother than my sister. Obviously she was older when my mom died so she practically raised me. She's annoying as hell, but she would do anything for me. If anyone looks at me wrong she's on it," Joeys face lit up when she talked about her sister.

"That wasn't so hard surely?"

"No, and I would have shared that if you'd asked before. I adore my sister."

"But you've never told me that before!" Pacey protested.

"Its never come up in conversation before," she smirked. "Besides you keep trying to date me. When I tell Jack and Jen about Bessie they leave it there...but I bet you're just dying to say..."

"She sounds amazing. What about your dad?" Pacey interrupted with a chuckle at Joeys shining eyes.

"Exactly!" she smiled.

"So, what about your dad?"

"Is that question number 2?" she clarified.

"ummmm no," he didn't want that to use up a question though he wasn't entirely sure that wasn't the question to ask.

"You look flummoxed," she chuckled pushing her already empty plate away, "I feel like desert!"

"You don't look like one," Pacey quipped but then looked at her plump pink lips, her tousled hair and her shining eyes, "scratch that - you look delicious," he welcomed the burn of tequila. Joey just laughed and jumped up.

"Where you going?" he asked.

"Ice cream," she shrugged.

"I don't have any," he said.

"We have some," she said and wondered to the door before turning back in horror, "The RAT!" she gulped. "Well, shit I almost forgot. Don't let me forget. Imagine I slept there and it crawled all over me with its little rat legs and it's scaley long tail?"

"I bet it wouldn't go anywhere near you!"

"Fine, you take my bed, I'll take yours!" she looked triumphant as he scowled.

"So my next question," he changed the subject jumping up and pulling out some chocolate. "This do?" She nodded.

"Go ahead, but know that I get three questions as well. And we must be absolutely honest."

"Sure," Pacey nodded thinking that could only be a good sign. "What about your dad?" he asked again and Joey laughed,

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," he nodded emphatically. "Whats he do?"

"Nothing legal, that's for sure," she had another shot of tequila and Pacey frowned, "that's for courage not because I won't answer"

"There's no judgement here," Pacey reassured her.

"You haven't heard the full answer yet," she warned him and he took her hand. She allowed him to take her hand.

"I always thought my dad was a great dad. He used to hang out with Bessie and me. He'd make our friends laugh and our mom blush. He mostly worked at the family restaurant. We hung out a lot there too. Summers were horrendously busy and winters scarily quiet," she looked at a blank spot on the wall for several moments. Pacey held his breath scarcely able to believe how much she was opening up - why hadn't he suggested strong liquor ages ago? Sure he'd drunk in her company, but he couldn't ever recall seeing her drink like this.

"What happened?"

"How do you know something happened?" she gave him a small lob sided smile and he just shrugged and waited for her to continue. "So he often worked late. But when my mom got sick he was out more than in. Bessie and I were alone a lot when mom was in hospital and looking after her when she was home. My dad was off sleeping his way around town. I don't know with how many women, nor do I really care. Of course mom knew and that was the worst thing about it. He let the business slide, so much so that Bessie quit school to keep it going, to keep money coming in," she paused again.

"Of course Dad was always rolling in cash, breezing in with completely useless items like DVDs instead of the food we needed."

"Where'd he make all his money?" Pacey couldn't help but sound a little scathing.

"He dealt drugs mainly. Other accusations floated around but drugs got him locked up for four years. He was inside when mom died."

"You don't have to say anymore if you don't want to?"

"Why stop now huh?" Joey rolled her eyes, "my vow of silence is broken," she took another bite of enchilada straight from the serving dish and then the strangest thing happened. Pacey watched as her face literally transformed. Before he could say anything she continued, "unless of course I've made you uncomfortable, because I didn't mean to, and..."

"I'm quite comfortable thank you very much!"

"Oh," she nodded but still seemed uncertain.

"So what happened?" he asked and she took a moment before continuing,

"He was released. He came home full of promises, tried to take over. He wanted to expand the business, took on a wedding for us to cater. Bessie was so happy, hell I was happy, we could finally be a little more like kids and Bessie could focus on Alex..."

"Her boyfriend?" Pacey interrupted.

"No her son. He was about 9 months when dad got out. His dad Bodie was working in Boston so Bessie had a lot on her plate - the diner, me, Alex."

"I can understand why it seemed good your dad was back."

"I don't know when I first became suspicious. It's hard to say, but some stuff started not to add up and dad was spending more money than we had," she trailed off and took a deep breath,

"The Icehouse was closed. I don't even remember why. I think dad had closed it so we could do a repaint. Whatever the reason a few friends and I were there studying for our SATs. I was looking after Alex for Bessie. He was out back asleep in his stroller..." she trailed off again. Pacey knew better than to say anything, but he did take her hand again and she did let him, her expression storm cloudy.

"The brick went through the back window - we didn't even hear it. The fire spread quickly, really quickly. I smelt the smoke first. My friends," she gave a sarcastic, bitter laugh, "they were out of there so fast - they didn't even look back. I couldn't even think of leaving. I had to get to Alex," a tear rolled down her cheek that she viciously swiped away. "When I opened the door I burnt my hand," Pacey turned her hand over and saw the burn. He wondered how he had never noticed it before, "the flames were everywhere, the smoke, the heat, but I just wanted Alex. Well...you dont need to know how I got in and how I got out, just that Alex was dead and that dad started that fire. Insurance money was his goal. He claimed he didn't know we were there. But he's still in prison, Alex is still dead and I still can't sleep without the feeling of his small, still, unbreathing body in my arms filling my head."

"Jo..." Pacey ached for her.

"It's ok. I've had counselling. I'll never deal with it, how can you? All the questions, the what ifs, the guilt... "

"You shouldn't feel guilty," Pacey leant across and tucked her hair behind her ear, brushing a tear from her cheek.

"Oh I get that it was dad that did it. He killed Alex, but I can't help wishing again and again that I'd kept him in the room with us. I just wanted him to help him sleep, he was so tired... I never thought..." she trailed off.

"How's Bessie?" he asked and Joey looked up with wide eyes. She appreciated the question.

"Better than me in some ways. She and Bodie are still together. They had twins last year, Rebecca and Sam, they're really cute."

"Bodie a nice guy?"

"That your next question?" she smiled at him with a small chuckle.

"Joey," he protested.

"Yes Bodie is nice. He was a big brother and a dad to me. They never blamed me."

"There was nothing to blame you for," Pacey clarified.

"So you want to ask a third question or not?" Joey asked eating another piece of chocolate. Pacey recognised a change of subject when he heard one.

"Of course," he grinned disappointed that she extracted her fingers from his to eat.

"So go ahead," she nodded at him.

"Hmmmm," he knew it had to be light. He hadn't expected her to open up and nor had he expected the horrors of her childhood. He wanted Joey desperately, more than any other woman ever and he had to show her he could be fun and serious.

"Tell me about your first boyfriend," he attempted but she took a shot and said,

"Pass," with a sweet smile.

"You said we had to be honest," he reminded her.

"And I'm pretty sure you want me to enjoy this evening. That won't happen if we talk about him," she looked like she had smelled something unpleasant.

"Your first guy?!" Paey asked.

"The main reason I don't date," Joey scowled some more.

"Well ok. I kind of think I need to know about him if I'm ever to convince you to date me, but I want to date you not depress you so..." he scrunched his brow thoughtfully, "where do you want to be at 30?"

"That's a good question," Joeys eyes shone and in a good way, not as if she was about to cry.

"Thanks."

"At 30 I guess I'd like to have my own place..." she trailed off. "That's a hard question."

"But a good one," he shrugged wondering what made it so hard for her to visualize a future.

"Yeah. I'm finding it hard to answer though... I don't really know where I want to be at 30. I guess I'd like to have travelled a bit. I'd like to live near Jack and Jen, Doug and you I guess,"

"In your own place," Pacey added.

"Yeah," she nodded but didn't continue.

"Thats it?" he squeaked mildly incredulous.

"Maybe I'd own a VW van, that would be good and travel about in it. I guess I'd like to be with someone, even if only for sex.. But I can't really see it."

"You're going to have to tell me about that guy at some point," Pacey growled and she looked up surprised at the anger in his voice.

"What's the matter?"

"It's just so frustrating...just so... Just for sex Joey? I would give you everything and...you...you want someone just for sex. What about being loved? You deserve to be loved and looked after and..."

"I just can't see getting from this to that," Joey sighed.

"You could try," Pacey told her in a hard voice, "Don't just accept it, say that's the way it is. It doesn't have to be this way, it doesn't."

"Are you in love with me?" Joey asked unsure what possessed her to be so bold.

"In love with you!" Pacey scoffed, "Just because...why would you...jeez Joey...you..." The rapid thrumming of his heart told a different story.

"So verbose," Joey rolled her eyes.

"This isn't about me...you've just given up and...and..."

"So why's it bother you? This is my business. This is why I don't date, why I don't share. It's up to me how I live my life," she was angry now too.

"But you're not living life. You're passing through life."

"That's my choice," she growled pushing away from the table.

"Fine," he slouched back in his chair.

"And it's my turn," she snarled haughtily.

"Ask away, I'm a open book," he brushed a hand across his eyes.

"Look forget it, I'll go," she made to stand.

"Please don't go," Pacey implored in a rush. "I'm being an ass. I'm sorry. I can't help it."

"You are being an ass." she confirmed.

"I'll be nice, please stay," he pleaded reaching a hand across and grasping hers. "Where are you gonna sleep if not in my bed?" he asked and watched her eyes darken slightly as he referred to her sleeping in his bed. The alcohol turned her sultry.

"And you'd have to be on the couch huh?" she asked with lilting softness, gazing into his eyes and watching them cloud with desire. His eyes were her weakness and she especially liked them full of desire.

"Ummm," Pacey had no words.

"No room in your bed for two?"

"You know there is but I thought..."

"That because I don't date I'd never want to have sex?" she arched an amused brow. "That I'd never want to have sex with you? I think I just told you that wasn't true."

"Well yeah...you don't exactly..."

"You think I'm a prude?"

"No, no not at all. I just...don't associate you and casual sex, I guess."

"Fair enough. I've never really had casual sex, or sex at all but really I'm very done with the whole virgin thing, I've had enough tequila to not give a damn, and you're pretty damn sexy." Pacey stared at her with a slightly open mouth. She would have sex with him? She was a virgin? He was sexy?

"But its fairly obvious I'm interested in more than casual sex - aren't you worried about giving me mixed messages?"

"You've slept with loads of women, I'm pretty sure you can separate sex and emotion."

"I have not slept with loads of women," Pacey was offended.

"Exactly how many women have you slept with?" she smirked as he shifted uncomfortably. "That's my first question."

"I...I..."

"Yes Pacey? My lovely open book..."

"I'm not sure I really remember..." he bit his lip, deep in thought.

"Wow, I knew it was a few..." she murmured and he looked up relieved at the smile he saw. His heart was hammering furiously in his chest and it felt like he was half there he was so full of adrenalin. He kept asking himself whether Joey had really said she wanted to sleep with him. It was like a dream come true, or a half dream because as she had so astutely seemed to guess he was indeed ass backward in love with her. Had been since their very first conversation and couldn't see it changing any time ever.

"I guess it would be 14... Actually Cecelia makes 15," he told her at length.

"Fifteen! You're pretty good at getting some..."

"What can I say? Women love me," he responded glibly.

"You're still friends with them?"

"Sure I guess... Maybe not Anya but she's not really friends with anyone. It was casual," he shrugged. "They all knew it even if they didn't all like it well except for Andie, Miss Jacobs and Audrey."

Joey looked at him intensely for several moments. Just as Pacey was about to break the silence she gestured for him to lean forward, toward her.

"Don't you want to sleep with me?" she asked, "That's my second question."

"I'll show you how much I want to sleep with you if you want?" Pacey stayed close to her, his lips a breath away from hers. Joey flopped back and took a shot of tequila.

"Third question," she looked at him, looking for all the world like a sultry vixen. Paceys heart pounded furiously. "Does it bother you that I'm a virgin?"

"No," Pacey shook his head. "I'm surprised. I mean look at you, but it doesn't bother me."

"Good," Joey stood up and piled the dishes taking them over to the sideboard above the dishwasher. She turned and looked at him still sat dumbfounded in his chair. Pacey stared at her, unsure. He didn't know what she was expecting of him. She didn't want to be his girlfriend but she did want to be his friend. She also seemed to want to have sex with him. "Come 'ere," she gestured. Standing uncertainly he walked towards her. He was really quite drunk he realised. He stood in front of her, a milimetre between them. She reached up and hooked an arm behind his neck drawing his ear to her lips.

"Make a damn move would you?" she whispered into his ear sending a delicious jolt of desire down his back and to his already hard cock.

"Sure, sure," Pacey mumbled feeling suddenly inexperienced and wrong footed. She looked at him with large heavy lidded eyes. He didn't need telling twice. Without a word he closed the distance between them pressing her against the sideboard leaving no space between them. He pressed his mouth to hers in a searing kiss. And she whimpered, she absolutely damn whimpered sending him crazy. She met his passion head on and though she claimed to be a virgin he couldn't tell. She wasn't timid and she didn't hold back, her hands were everywhere. When she touched him where he wanted her to most, he groaned.

"I'll fuck you right now if you want Jo," he tugged her hand away "but lord do i find you sexy, so don't do that," and she pouted - she POUTED.

"I want to do that," she practically purred and her hand snuck between them again. Groaning loudly Pacey claimed her lips again. He wanted her too much to be patient. If she wasn't going to take her time it was damn near impossible for him to. Screw peeling her clothes off her carefully - he just about ripped them from her body before carrying her to his room in just her underwear. He didn't lay her on the bed with care either - he tumbled onto the bed with her underneath him his hips automatically bucking his hard cock against the moisture on her panties. Fuck thinking about where to touch her next - he was touching her everywhere, incessantly, needing desperately to feel the warm wetness at the centre of her on his fingers. Bollocks to trying to bring her to orgasm - he didn't have to try, he was so desperate to hear the noises she was making his fingers performed without thought. And when she pushed his pants down and he covered her body with his own he didn't even think about anything but her, about sinking deep into her, hearing her sigh of relief, feeling her hands urge him further into her, her nails drag down his back and her body move in response to his, the way she'd moan, how to move just so and make that moan turn into a groan. She came, thank god she came because he didn't think to try and make that happen, and he came, fuck did he come and though it felt ridiculous, it was the best damn orgasm of his life. Orgasms were not all the same and lust was not the same thing as love.

They lay together on his bed, her body delightfully void of clothing and wrapped in his. Pacey wasn't sure he'd ever been as happy as he was at that moment. He was pretty sure that if he died right then it wouldn't be as an unhappy man. Of course to be utterly content he'd have to know that she was his and he was hers, and of course that wasn't how it was. But at that second, she was in his arms and that was good enough. He gave her a slight squeeze and kissed her shoulder. Her beautiful shoulder.

"Does this mean I don't have to sleep on the couch?" he asked softly his lips finding her neck.

"Mmmmmmmm," she sighed and stretched so he could kiss her more easily.

"Is that a yes?" he asked again.

"No... You stay here and do this... Again...more," she sighed and pressed her butt against him. Pacey didn't need asking twice.

* * *

The sun was bright on his closed eyes. There was a slight throb at his temple but he didn't care a jot about that, after all Joey Potter was naked in his bed. He was slightly worried about opening his eyes, about breaking the moment, about never getting a moment like it again. She would probably freak now that she was no longer drunk and given her absolute aversion to anything remotely relationship like. But open his eyes he must.

She was divine. And she was wide awake and looking at him.

"Please don't tell me you're one of those guys that once he sleeps with a girl he loses all interest in sleeping with her and moves onto a new conquest?" her voice was soft, beautiful.

"Not me Potter," he assured her pulling her a little nearer.

"So I don't have to climb awkwardly from your bed? Or watch you scramble away making excuses?" she arched that perfect brow again.

"I would have to say no," he winked at her and allowed his eyes to wonder over her nakedness. She looked over him and smirked at his hard on,

"I guess I don't need to ask if we can do it again!" she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his allowing him to draw her body toward him.

* * *

Pacey should have been concentrating but he couldn't seem to focus. He'd spent the day with Joey. She'd spent the day with him. They chatted, made love, discussed rat removal, kissed, showered - together, and made love. Life was pretty damn good. And she was at home right now. His home, but she was there and he was out with his damn brother and sister.

"What the heck is with you Pacey?" Gretchen complained. Joey, potentially naked in his bed. Being in love with Joey naked in his bed. Being in love with Joey. He'd admitted it to himself, if no one else, she was without a doubt the woman for him and he loved her, absolutely fucking loved her.

"Pacey?" Doug asked when he neglected to respond.

"Oh...Joey found a rat in their apartment," Pacey attempted.

"Shit...I sleep there, oh god I'm never staying there again," Doug shivered.

"Yeah that was Joeys reaction," and Pacey grinned. The stupid, love sick grin he'd been fighting all day.

"That's awesome man," Doug didn't need to be told what the shit eating grin meant.

"What am I missing here? Joey, as in Jacks housemate Joey, Ice queen Joey?" Gretchen looked between her brothers.

"She's no ice queen," Pacey murmured, "but no telling anyone. I can't believe I've told you guys."

"You didn't need to tell us," Doug reminded him.

"So miss no dates is suddenly dating you?" Gretchens eyes bugged.

"Well no... Technically she's slept with me...hopefully sleeping with me and we're friends. She doesn't do relationships," Pacey shrugged in what he hoped was a relaxed and casual manner.

"You found out why not yet?"

"Nope," he answered shortly.

* * *

When Pacey got home from the sibling dinner, he and Doug both tapped on Jack, Jen and Joey's door and then entered. Pacey couldn't help the utterly sunshiny smile spreading across his face at the sight of Joey, squashed in a chair with Jen whilst Andie and Jack took the couch. Jack and Andie were having a debate about something or other and Joey and Jen seemed to be speaking in hushed voices, the soft music covering any whispered conversation. Pacey watched Joey smile and laugh, and Jen's cheery smile in return.

"Hey guys," Doug grinned and sidled up next to Jack on the couch, entwining his fingers with his boyfriends. Pacey had no idea how he was supposed to act. He saw Joey look at him and blush before looking away, and he didn't miss Jen's slight laugh.

"I thought I'd say hi before heading home. I'm on an early tomorrow. You want to run first thing?" he looked directly at Joey who gave him a smile and then narrowed her eyes at him.

"I'm game," she gave him a quick smile.

"Oh you guys run?" Andie seemed to miss the heavy sexual tension that was bounding about the room. No one else had, Pacey was sure. Jack was looking with suspicion between Joey and him, and Jen just wore an all knowing smile. But Andie wanted to run with them. Pacey had never hated his ex-girlfriend more.

"Sure Andie, but it's a 6 am start," Joey made an effort to be sincere.

"Oh," Andie frowned. "Well I was going to meet with Dr Valentine at nine, so that would work. Wake me, would you Joey?"

"Sure," Joey gave her a nod and then hid behind her hair. Knowing he had no reason to stay Pacey raised a hand,

"I'm out," he said to the room at large and received their muttered good nights. He stared at Joey again but she was talking with Jen again, so he reluctantly left his friends apartment and went across the hall to his.

It was nice to go into his very own apartment. He noticed that Joey had tidied up. He was kind of sad that his sex messed bed was re-straightened, but was less sad that she'd loaded the dirty dishes into the dishwasher. He'd just hung up his coat and put his shoes away when there was a tap at the door. He opened the door with his stomach exploding with nerves and there she was, a small smile on her face as she looked at him.

"Hey," he leaned up against the door frame.

"Hi," she didn't look at all nervous. "I thought maybe we could talk?" she asked and his heart sunk. He felt sick.

"Talk?" he echoed.

"Yeah, you know chat. It's been helping my insomnia."

"Well that's good," he didn't know what the hell was happening. Did she want to talk about them and what they'd done, or just chat.

"Hmmm," she stared at him long and hard. "You seem anxious."

"Nervous," he clarified.

"And why would you be nervous?" she stared at him with sparkling eyes.

"Well, you say the word talk and I worry I may not get to kiss you again," he watched his arm move his hand to her hip without his brains say so. It was like he had no control over himself.

"We're not in a relationship Pace. We're friends and talk means just that. As for the kissing, sure, we can do that again."

"Really?" he asked with a cocky pout on his mouth. She took in the expression on his face and shook her head,

"Hmmm, maybe my willingness is making you cocky," she frowned.

"Oh you're making me cocky alright," he rocked his hips into hers and her eyes fluttered shut.

"Hmmmm..." she managed and then grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and kissed him, capturing him by surprise. Pacey was stilled for a moment and then groaned, pulling her into his place, slamming the door and pressing her against it.

"I've been thinking about this all evening," he growled his hands seeking the naked skin at her waist, before trailing up over her ribs, his thumbs brushing the underside of her breasts. She moaned and pushed at his t-shirt, pushing it up and then over his head, before returning her hands to his naked chest and her lips to his. "I want you," he trailed the words with kisses down her neck before pressing a warm kiss to her nipple through her t-shirt and bra. While one hand moved to the clasp on her bra, the other snuck between their bodies and under the waist of her sweats, down under the elastic of her panties and to the place between her legs, the place that made him groan and buck against her.

"Pacey," she pleaded his name as his hand danced it's dance, "I want to come with you in me," she pleaded practically making him orgasm on the spot. She popped the button on his jeans, the belt undone somewhere along the line and pushed them down. He moved them backwards somehow landing on his couch and pulling her on top of him. He pushed her bottoms off of her and then her naked form slid on top of him, looking him in the eyes as she moved to take hold of his cock and guide it inside of her. She sunk more deeply on to him, her chest against his and she cried out. "You're going or make me come in about a second like this," she moaned the words against his lips and then kissed him. Pacey didn't hesitate to grab her ass and move inside her, loving the noise of her build up to what must have been the quickest orgasm on record. She moved with him and cried out less than thirty seconds after sliding onto him. She slumped for a moment, so Pacey flipped them over, taking in her surprised expression he kissed her, moving her leg and pounding into her harder.

Pacey liked to think he had pretty good sexual stamina and normally he did. But having sex with Joey was completely undermining his sexual prowess. He could feel his orgasm already building and he desperately wanted to make her come again, and so he shifted, angled differently until he heard her moan in that tell tale way, felt her nails scrape his back, his butt and then she yelled out as she came, and god help him so did he. Oh how badly he felt the need to declare his love for her as he lay on top of her, in her, his lips still pressed to hers. He moved to her neck and kissed her there, still unwilling to move from inside her. He leaned up on his elbows to look at her. She was stunning. Her hair splayed, her eyes shut and her skin bare. He held her tighter. It took him a few moments to realize she was asleep. So much for insomnia, it seemed he was the cure. He smiled somewhat smugly to himself. He could live with that.

Reluctantly he moved from inside her, surprised when it didn't wake her. He was damned if she was going to sleep on his couch, when he had his big double bed to take her to, so he stood beside the couch and shucked her up into his arms.

"Pace," she gave him a sleepy look. He just smiled,

"Bed?" he asked simply and she nodded, leaning her head against his chest. She wasn't light but he managed to get her into his room pretty easily, and stood her against him as he flicked back the covers. Unfortunately, the effect of her naked body sliding against his was instantaneous and she smirked as she felt it.

"Your body likes me," she smiled in dulcet but sleepy tones.

"Total understatement," Pacey chuckled and she slid into bed. He followed her curling up behind her, his cock managing to find it's way back inside of her.

"Mmmmm," she reached her hands back and tugged him closer and he smiled. Oh it sucked that they were only friends, but even if she couldn't tell, or couldn't admit it, he knew they were really much more.

* * *

Pacey was pretty pleased with his life since his move back home to Boston. One month in and the job was good. In fact the job was excellent, and because the job was, so was he. He knew he was doing a great job. He was enjoying seeing more of his brother and sisters and living across the hall from Jack was great. They'd gone to watch the Bruins play, they'd meet for beers after work. It was perfect. Jen was also becoming a good friend, though he couldn't really understand her attraction to Drue Valentine. The guy wasn't all bad, but Jen was better. Of course the best thing about Boston was Joey. When they were around everyone else they were friends, but she spent every night with him, mainly because he asked her to, but also because she wanted to. He could tell she wanted to because she seemed as desperate to be with him as he was her. She was, often painfully, professional at work, but those eyes, oh he knew how to read her eyes. They had christened the back of his van a multitude of times despite the fact that it was freezing. The little battery heater and the many layers of bedding took the chill off as they would slip naked into what was pretty much a nest, mainly because neither wanted to wait until they got home. It was fun. Really good fun. Not only the sex but the talking that sometimes never seemed to stop. Sometimes just to end an argument he'd kiss her. Sometimes she'd kiss him just to stop him talking because the sex helped her sleep. She even admitted it. He was better than a sleeping pill for her.

If the hospital rumour mill had been thrumming before, it was off the charts now. There was even one gossip circle that believed they were secretly married. Pacey only wished it were true. As the marriage rumour wasn't true, as the relationship rumour wasn't true, he just concentrated on being her best friend and the best sex she'd ever had.

"I keep trying to tell her that she is dating you," Jen shrugged as she and Pacey pushed through the doors of Hells Kitchen.

"Like you try and tell Drue?" Pacey gave her a look.

"I know you don't like him Pacey but I do."

"I do like him Jen, I just don't trust him."

"Well neither do I," Jen surprised him. "As of now he is totally untrustworthy, but one day..."

"Just like one day Joey will admit she wants all of me?"

"Well more certain than that," Jen teased but then took pity on him. "You're closer to her than anyone and one day she'll tell you what happened. When she does that you know she knows that what you have is a relationship. Then you can say the words."

"The words?" he gave her a quizzical look but she just scoffed,

"I can see the words dripping out of every pore on your body. You love her. You're absolutely besotted by her, and because you can't say those words, every little thing you do screams them. Everyone knows. The whole damn hospital. They just keep up the rumours because it's fun watching Joey deal with them. She just blushes and works harder."

"That's mean," Pacey was instantly defensive.

"You want to know what I think?" Jen asked and Pacey nodded, "I think she'll say it to you before you say it to her."

"You think she loves me?" the grin was spontaneous. Jen appraised him for a moment,

"Yeah, I think she's one hundred percent in love with you. But I don't think she knows it."

"God I hope you're right," Pacey mumbled as they slid into chairs at the table where Jack and Joey were laughing together, Pacey automatically taking the seat next to the latter.

"Hey guys," Jack grinned widely, "settle a debate for me and Jo here. Jo here seems to think Whoopie Goldberg won an oscar for Ghost, which is crazy talk."

"Wouldn't have a clue," Jen held her hands up in surrender, "I never saw Ghost."

"You have never watched Ghost?" Joey looked at her aghast, her hand dropping beneath the table and onto Pacey's. Pacey knew he should wipe the shit eating grin off his face but that was nigh impossible, so instead he squeezed her hand and moved their joined hands onto the delightful warmth of her thigh.

"I never felt the need to put myself through that, no. Whilst I have a certain amount of respect for Patrick, after all he gave us Dirty Dancing, and I like Whoopie, I have to say I can't really abide Demi Moore," Jen wrinkled her nose.

"Well no, but it's just terrifically cheesy, especially the clay wheel sex scene, and the incredibly awkward kiss between Demi and Whoopie."

"Not terrifically cheesy enough for me to watch it," Jen chuckled. "Besides, we don't all have your 'anything goes' policy to literature and film."

"Girl makes a point," Pacey's grin grew.

"I have my reasons for that policy," Joey defended, glaring at Pacey and Jen with narrowed eyes.

"And they are?" Jack bit his lip impishly.

"I choose not to share," she gave them a haughty look, "but I find nothing more irritating than a film snob and that transfers to literature."

"And whys that?" Jen widened her eyes in expectation. Pacey watched on. Every conversation with Joey about her opinions, her past, was like drawing teeth. She had her views but why, nobody knew.

"Do you guys know the literal definition of a snob?" Joey looked at them all with affectionate disdain.

"Sure, someone appreciative of the finer things in life? Someone cultivating a deeper appreciation of things that enrich?" Pacey shrugged and Joey turned her fiery eyes on him.

"The actual definition of a snob is a person who imitates, cultivates, or slavishly admires social superiors and is condescending or overbearing to others. Or a person who believes himself or herself an expert or connoisseur in a given field and is condescending toward or disdainful of those who hold other opinions or have different tastes regarding this field. I personally think that whatever you add on the front of snob, be it film or literary, well it isn't exactly a compliment."

"Well no...not when you put it like that," Pacey frowned and Jack laughed. "What do you find so amusing?" Pacey asked his friend.

"That boy is no movie snob and no literary snob either. My Jack will read anything and watch anything," Joey gave Jack an adoring look.

"It's a terrible quality they both share," Jen was apparently not bothered by Joey's snob description. Pacey tried not to feel jealous at Joey's possessive 'my' in front of Jacks name - the guy was gay and involved with Pacey's brother after all.

"That definition doesn't bother you?" Pacey stared at Jen who laughed,

"Actually no, because I'm not a snob, I just have taste - taste that at times varies wildly to the taste of these two. I can also see that massive boulder on Joey's shoulder," she gestured to her friend who laughed.

"You mean this giant chip right here?" she asked sarcastically shooting her friend a glare.

"That's the one. You are sometimes obstinate in your desire to flirt with the terrible when it comes to the arts!"

"Hmmm," Joey seemed to think it through, "I would agree with that to a degree."

"Well I, for one, am planning revenge this Christmas," Jen smirked.

"You are huh?" Joey slugged her beer back.

"Yep."

"I'll have you know I'm working all through Christmas. I said I'd do the whole holiday so no time for watching movies. Such a shame," Joey gave Jen a fake smile and shifted Pacey's hand up her thigh.

"So what's new?" Jack asked with a shrug. "You work every holiday."

"You work every holiday?" Pacey gave her a wide eyed look.

"Why not? Someone's got to."

"Doesn't always have to be you."

"If there were ever an end of the world disaster - meteor, virus, nuclear...Joey would be the nurse that's first on the scene," Jack filled in.

"People like to be with their families - I make that possible. It makes me feel good, I am ultimately selfish!" Joey shuffled her chair in closer to the table and pulled Pacey's hand even further up her thigh until it was under her skirt.

"You have a family," Pacey told her pointedly.

"Ah, but I never spend holidays with them," she said as if that explained it all perfectly.

"Never?" Pacey frowned and tried to keep a straight face as she pressed his fingers up against the damp material at the apex of her thighs. His fingers, however, took on a life of their own.

"No never," she shook her head and shot him a sultry look that told him exactly what she was really thinking about. He swallowed hard and shifted his extremely tight jeans. Jen laughed as if aware of what she was doing, of what he was doing.

"We've digressed. The point is that I'm forcing the arts on you for Christmas."

"And that led onto the fact that I'm working," Joey smirked, then looked at Pacey as he flicked his finger rather effectively. "We need to go soon," she stated abruptly.

"Hey, whatever sexual game you two are ensconced in, does not alter the fact that I'm trying to let you know about my big surprise for next weekend, when you, Joey dearest, are not working," Jen looked at Joey and Pacey who had the good grace to look sheepish.

"Look at him," Joey said with a blush but a defiant glint in her eye.

"Have done...I understand," Jen nodded. "Look, go home, get it on and I'll tell you about my Christmas surprise tomorrow!"

"Tell us now," Joey was repentant.

"Nope. You're not exactly focused," she looked pointedly at Pacey who was staring at Joey with dark eyes.

"Point taken," Joey subconsciously licked her lips.

"They are pathetic," Jack teased.

"And you and Doug aren't?" Jen gave an incredulous laugh.

"Well..."

"Well what?" Jen laughed.

"Well Doug and I at least admit we're together," Jack stated and then felt immediately guilty at the look on Joey's face. They could all see the confusion and the struggle.

"Jo and I are friends," Pacey defended, "we just can't seem to keep our hands to ourselves."

"Obviously," Jen rolled her eyes and Joey seemed to relax a little.

"I'm sorry Jo..." Jack began but she shook her head and stood up.

"I'm going to...you know...go," she stuttered slightly, her cheeks still painted red.

"I'll come with you," Pacey said straight away but she shook her head,

"No you guys should...you know..." she grabbed at her thick duffle coat and pulled it on, pulling on her scarf and hat and heading for the door. Pacey glared at Jack.

"What the hell man?" he growled.

"I'm sorry. I know better...I just...she was looking at you all loved up and it just seemed so easy for her...and..." Jack frowned and Pacey felt sorry for him.

"It's ok man, I'll head home and see that she's ok."

* * *

Pacey thought he'd run into Joey outside the bar but she must have caught the bus, or just walked really quickly in the direction of their apartment block. Maybe she even took a taxi, but she wasn't there as he jogged their usual route home from the bar. When he got in he knocked on her apartment door but there as no answer. He put his ear to the door and heard movement from inside.

"Joey," he rapped on the door.

"Pacey," she opened the door and looked at him. She didn't look like she'd been crying but she didn't look happy either.

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," she nodded curtly. "Just going to bed."

"At my place?" he gave her a soft, flirtatious smile. She'd stayed at his every night since he'd moved in after all.

"No here Pacey," her eyes watered momentarily but she blinked the emotion back.

"Why? Because of Jack's big mouth?"

"No," she shook her head, "because I can't give you what you want, I may never be able to give you what you want."

"But I just want you, in whatever capacity I can have you," he told her simply, realizing that to get angry or emotional would doom his argument to failure.

"But..." she began her protest but he reached for her pulling her against him.

"No Joey, there is no but. I pursued you knowing that you don't want a relationship, knowing that you just wanted to be friends. I began sleeping with you, knowing that to."

"But Pace," she looked up at him, "I don't know anymore whether it's that I don't want a relationship or if I actually can't have a healthy, functioning relationship."

"What happened Joey?" he looked at her with loving eyes.

"I can't...don't ask me that, please..."

"Ok Jo, ok," he rubbed her shoulders, "but don't ask me to give up the friends and the sex because you're worried I want more. I do want more, you know that, but when you want something as much as I want you, you take what you can get."

"You'll get sick of it, sick of me. You should end this now. You really should. I should. I should end it," she pressed her face into his chest and the first inklings of panic began to prickle his nerves.

"Joey, are you happy? Not with the past, not with the things inside, but with you and me? With our friendship? With the sex?"

"You're...like my best friend," she said with absolute honesty, "and you know how I feel about the sex," she lowered bashful eyes, "yes I'm happy. I can sleep when I'm with you. You seem to stop the nightmares. I don't know how, but only you can do that."

"Good. I'm glad you're happy. You know what Joey? I'm happy too. Really fucking happy. So don't end this, whatever this is. It's simple and it works. Friends and sex. Fine by me because we're both happy."

"You are the loveliest human being I have ever met," she stared at him with solemn eyes and stood on her toes to kiss him, her arms wrapping tightly around him.


End file.
